


lost

by melodious (pen_light)



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Death, Depression, Dream Knight Au, Gen, M/M, Mild 2jae, Mystery, Youngjae-Centric, basically everyone loves Youngjae and want to help him, hmmm, ill add more tags if needed, is more developed in the end, read to find out, what is going on???, yea yea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-25 23:18:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 40,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7551061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pen_light/pseuds/melodious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>youngjae never returned that day</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> just a note: this is based off of the got7 drama "Dream Knight", so i suggest you watch that beforehand. this is basically a continuation of the series :) all of the facts that are in this book and not in the series is created by me.
> 
> also, this is completed, it will take me a few days to transfer this here, so keep an eye out for more updates :))))
> 
> enjoy :)

It is known that energy can't be destroyed. It's common knowledge. Yet, on the other hand, there's this misconception that energy cannot be created.

You see, the entire universe isn't only driven by the forces of biology, chemistry and physics. There are unknown energies out there, that lurk in the darkest corners of the Earth. For some strange reason, they will suddenly react, creating the unknown that we define as magic.

Yes my friend. The supernatural does exist. But not quite in the way that you know it.

They'll appear out of nothing. But when it comes to leave, their spirits and sparks still remain in the air. It is highly unlikely for you to feel this power.

Only they know of both worlds. Us humans are oblivious to the dimension that lies beyond our line of sight.

So when Joo In Hyung's guardians vanished from her life, they hadn't actually disintegrated. As she stared up at the bright, starry sky, with tears in her eyes, she bid her final greetings. On the other end, up in the universe, in a place that many will call the 'Heavens', her guardians looked down on her, not returning the greeting.

"We're right here," Jaebum whispered back, even though the young girl couldn't see him.

Jackson chuckled slightly. "We're watching you," he said creepily, his antics never stopping, even as a spirit.

All of them collectively laughed, colliding in a great big hug. Their fears of dying dissolved in the atmosphere as soon as the laughter bubbled out of their lips.

They were together. Wherever they were, whatever they would have to face, they would be able to handle it. As long as they were together, nothing could come in their way.

That was the unspoken oath between the four of them.

Eventually, after some time, the four of them had gotten the gist of the reality that they were thrown in.

Time went by slower than on Earth. It seemed endless, yet not the unnerving type.

They could project their astral selves on Earth whenever they wanted to. They were like ghosts walking among the living.

As for their powers, they weren't as powerful as they were when they were human. But they still had a slight effect. Not that they needed to use for anything serious. Those who they worried about were successfully living their lives.

Joo In Hyung was being taken care of by Junior. She was studying hard for her college studies, ready to become a scholar. In what field, it was still unknown. She was exploring the waters.

Then there was GOT, the hot musical group who grew so much in the time that came. It was unbelievable too, seeing that practically everyone was already seeing heart eyes for the trio.

As for Lee Jenny, the pink haired, ambitious dancer, she hit it off well. Sure, the sudden disappearance of the bright cheery Jackson Wang threw her off, sending her into a temporary pit of sadness. After understanding that he returned to his family (a cover story made by In Hyung), her spirits lifted and she recalled Jackson's words. _Dancing should be fun_. And it was fun. Her hard work and talent from the competition didn't go to waste. With a little help of GOT and In Hyung, she was introduced to the dancing legend Chang Sung, who was also a former alumni of the school. He happily took her under his wing, and sent her straight to training, preparing her for the next big step in her life.

And of course, the mischievous angels in the skies knew of all these details. They saw the lives come to shape. They were proud of the success of their friends. They would've preferred to share this happiness with the people themselves, but unfortunately they had to work with whatever they had.

Sometimes, to kill time, or for pure entertainment purposes, Jackson would venture down to Earth to mess around with the members of GOT.

For example, once Jackson had almost set Bambam's lollipop on fire from his heat powers. All he was trying to do was melt the candy.

Oops.

On the other hand, Mark tended to just go back to the ramps where him and Bambam would play on their bikes and skateboard.

Sometimes the latter was there as well, earphones plugged in his ears, as he ventured around the lot.

He'd pause and look straight past Mark, as if he could feel his presence. Maybe it's because he was a guardian once, but that was the only recognition the spirit would get.

Bambam would smile sadly and go back to his biking.

Mark would sigh, longing to be able to communicate with the younger and feel the ground beneath him disappear as he jumped into the nothingness. He wanted to feel his own weight, so that he truly felt the meaning of being weightless.

Meanwhile, Jaebum was more keen on keeping up with his master, whether it meant just sitting on the hood of her trailer as she and Junior laughed the night away.

As long as she was happy, he was happy as well.

And then there was Youngjae, the youngest of the four. If he was gone, the others could always find him sitting outside of the music shop, where he'd just lean back and listen to the pianists work their magic on the keys. Or, he'd be tuned into the radio stations playing nearby, trying to listen to the new music of the day.

It was the place where he'd spend most of his days. It was his safe haven, the place where he could stay to calm down and lose himself in the melodies and harmonies.

And just like that, life seemed to stabilize for the quartet. They were happy and content with each other and with what they had. All of them felt the same thing.

They wouldn't go back to change anything.

Life was going great.

~

Mark and Jackson were lounging in their place in the stars. It was a large bright room, no windows or doors, except for one: the one that showed and led to the "real world".

The duo were talking. Well, Jackson was cracking the latest jokes he had heard, while Mark was just listening and laughing along.

Back at Earth, it was getting late, as night was about to fall over the city where it all had begun for the boys.

Mark and Jackson were expecting the rest of their crew to come back at any moment. That's all they were doing: waiting.

Jaebum was the first to arrive through the screen. It was strange. Being the 'leader-like' person he was, he normally stayed back and checked for the others before returning, bringing back any of the lads if it got too late.

So the fact that Youngjae was not with him had Mark and Jackson a bit confused.

Jaebum looked up at the room, expecting to see three boys in the place. He frowned when he only saw two. "Where's Youngjae?"

"He's still in the 'realworld'," Jackson replied, standing up. "Didn't you check?"

Jaebum nodded, his frown deepening. "I did. I couldn't find him anywhere."

"Maybe he's on his way back?" Mark suggested quickly, yet hopefully.

Jaebum glanced back at the portal, a sick feeling sinking in his gut. He wanted to go back and look for the sunshine singer. That's what his instincts were telling him to do. Yet, upon hearing Mark's words, he held back, not wanting to be the type of person who stressed out too much about every little thing.

Sighing, he looked back at his friends. Youngjae wasn't really a child now, was he? He could take care of himself. Right?

"Let's just wait for him to come back," Jaebum said, walking further into the room. He joined Mark on the floor, laying down on his back.

Shrugging, Jackson joined the group on the floor.

And so, all three of the guardians waited for their fourth and final puzzle piece to return from his journey to Earth.

They waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And, well, waited.

And they kept waiting.

 

 

But in the end,

 

 

_Youngjae never came back._

 


	2. 1

It had been 3 months since Youngjae disappeared. Well, 3 Earth months, to be specific.

That means that it had been over 90 days since the three guardians had last seen their close friend.

90 longs days of relentless searching around the town for their sunshine singer.

90 long days of never ending worrisome thoughts that would echo through their minds.

Despite the long time, neither of the boys wanted to think of the worst case scenario: Youngjae was officially 'dead'. He was never coming back.

Jackson, Mark and Jaebum refused to believe that. In their minds, they were still confident the younger one was still alive.

He was just astray.

He was just lost.

Yet, no matter how much they tried, they were unable to locate the stray spirit.

Without Youngjae, the three of them were just incomplete.

Jackson's bubbly character simmered down. He became quiet and depressed. The smile he would once always wear was completely wiped off of his face.

Jaebum was always stressed and worried. He worked hard to make sure that the other two remained with him, while he looked for the lost one. The fear of losing another one of his members was instilled deep in his heart. He couldn't deal with losing another.

Mark was the one person who tried to keep everyone together. Being the oldest, he felt that it was his responsibility to remain strong for the sake of others. He'd hug Jackson and reassure him constantly that, yes, Youngjae was coming back. He'd have to constantly tell Jaebum that they were all still there, that he and Jackson were staying by his side no matter what.

Yes, Mark was breaking piece by piece inside. Seeing his best friends break down didn't really help him either.

Youngjae's disappearance took a worse toll on all three of them.

The once stable life they thought that they had was turned into pure chaos in just the blink of an eye.

~

Bambam was on his way to the studio from the dorms. He was rushing, having taken too long to get ready for the day. If he wasn't at the studio in the next 10 minutes, Junior would have his head.

Yet, despite being in haste, Bambam managed to grab a nice warm cup of coffee for himself, to power him through the day. Practices had become extremely intensive, leaving him aching everywhere and bone tired.

When he was just about to reach the building where GOT had most of their magic happen, he bumped into someone rather hardly. The impact had sent him 'flying' to the ground. The thankfully mostly empty cup of coffee fell to the side, saving him from any unfortunate burns.

Wincing, Bambam held his bottom, feeling the blunt of the fall on his tushie.

He whined, getting up quickly to address the person who had bumped into him. "Look where you're goi-"he began to scold, only to stop when he saw who the person was.

His breath caught in his throat as his eyes widened upon the sight in front of him.

Bambam could've easily mistaken the person for just a stranger from the complete makeover he had. But in the end, despite the messy, overgrown hair, weird, shabby attire and stoic, expressionless face, he'd recognize it anywhere.

On the other hand, the man glared at him with pure malice that had Bambam shaking under his thick, warm, fur coat.

Without a word, the person walked around Bambam who remained frozen.

Bambam turned around to give the person one last good look.

"Youngjae?" He whispered under his breath, calling out the name of the person he thought that was. He was about to run after the man when a strong hand grabbed the back of his coat, only to yank him back to reality.

Yugyeom's voice broke him away from his haze. "Bambam, what the he'll are you doing?" He asked, dragging the smaller, blue haired boy back. "Junior hyung is honestly pissed. Hurry up." The youngest urged, pushing him into the elevator.

Bambam straightened himself out, shaking his head, trying to throw the scene away from his head.

It was just the tiredness getting to him.

That man couldn't have been Youngjae.

Youngjae was gone.

~

The rapper managed to escape from his two friends for some alone time at the lot where he spent his time biking.

Earphones in at full volume, he circled the lot as fast as he could. He went through the tunnels, in and out repeatedly.

The sight of the familiar face was still bothering him. It had bothered him throughout the day.

Bambam was half convinced that he was completely out of his mind. But then, he was also half convinced that what he had seen was true.

It wasn't really just the sight of the familiar boy that had shaken Bambam. It was the difference that had Bambam questioning what happened.

'Youngjae''s once bright, curious, coffee colored eyes were dull, empty. There was no emotion in them. When the latter scowled at him, Bambam caught the pale, dead-like appearance that Youngjae seemed to now have. It was like he was drained of all of his energy. He looked like a walking zombie.

Bambam sighed and stopped, out of breath. Putting his head in his hands, he closed his eyes, mentally and physically exhausted.

It was late in the night. From up in the stars, Mark peered down to see his friend in distress. Frowning, he stood up to visit the younger one.

Upon arriving, Bambam looked up, feeling the faint presences of the other man. He never really knew if it truly was Mark each time. He just always assumed it to be him.

For the first time though, that day, he made an effort to talk to the other.

"Mark hyung?" he asked to the air. "Is that you?"

Mark stared at the boy, shocked that he had addressed him. "Yea," he tried to answer. But it was no use, the other couldn't hear him.

Bambam blinked and sighed again. He continued to talk. "The strangest thing happened today. I think I'm going out of my mind."

Mark listened, sitting down.

"I was running late and I bumped into someone. You wouldn't believe me when I say, he strangely," he took in a breath. "He strangely looked like Youngjae hyung."

Mark's eyes widened as his head snapped to look at Bambam straight in the eye. "What?!" He whisper yelled.

Bambam nodded. "Exactly like him. But, he also was very different. Like the opposite of the Youngjae I knew." At that, he looked down, playing with the gloves on his hands.

Mark stared hard at the boy, the new information sinking in.

In his mind, the lost boy's name echoed through his mind.

Mark jumped up, pacing around.

Youngjae was here?

On Earth?

Was it really Youngjae?

Was he okay?

Did they finally find him?

Mark broke out into a smile, anxious for what was to come next. In his mind, all he could think of was the possibility of being with their sunshine singer once again, hearing him laugh at Jackson's jokes, sing with Jaebum and ramble excitedly about nothing to Mark.

Thanking Bambam, Mark quickly returned to his home in the sky.

The next day was going to be a good day.

Or, at least, that's what Mark hoped for.

 


	3. 2

Two pairs of brown eyes stared back at Mark, not making a move.

Mark blinked back, waiting for a reaction.

Jaebum was the first. He cracked a slight smile. In a way, he looked relieved. "Are you sure that this is our Youngjae?" He asked cautiously.

Mark sighed. His friend had just voiced the same doubts that were echoing in his head. The same doubts to which he had no answer to. "We can't be certainly sure until we see him from our own eyes," He said. "But by the way Bambam was, I'm pretty sure it is our Youngjae."

Jaebum nodded, thinking.

"So what are we waiting for?" Jackson's sudden question tore through the silence that he'd draped between the boys, startling the other two.

The others just stared at him, not fully processing the question exactly.

Rolling his eyes, Jackson stood up and grabbed their arms. "Let's go find him!" He yelled, a hint of excitement evident in his voice.

Mark and Jaebum smiled.

~

"Hey when Bambam talked about finding Youngjae, did he ever mention _where_?" Jackson asked, stressing on the last word.

Mark hit the other on the back of his head. "I've told you this, they bumped when he was on his way to the studio."

"That could be anywhere Mark," Jaebum pointed out. Mark pouted and crossed his arms.

"I'm sorry, but it's not like I bumped into Youngjae," he sassed, only to have Jackson raise his pointer finger in preparation to retaliate to that comment. Jaebum was quicker though.

"No fighting boys. You can talk about this later," he said, using his leader tone. Jackson stuck out his tongue, a gesture that Jaebum chose to ignore.

The boys first checked out the studio, walking around the premises, checking the perimeter.

They weren't exactly sure as to what they were looking for. From what Mark had been told, Youngjae wasn't really the Youngjae that they had once known. He had supposedly changed.

Were they ready to face the change?

They were certain. But they knew one thing. They were ready to bring their friend back home.

By the end of the day, they had searched almost every nook and cranny of the city. And yet, they found no Youngjae.

Lastly, they were just left with the small marketplace nearby In Hyung's school. There, on that street, lived a very small music shop. It was cozy, with only a few instruments on display.

The emptiness of the room created an inviting and peaceful environment for the musician to focus on their art.

Sharing a look, the three of them ventured into the shop, easily just walking through the walls.

Looking around, at first, they didn't see anyone. Just when they were about to leave, disappointed, they heard the faint playing of the piano.

The tune was familiar. Strangely familiar.

Jaebum felt a smile creep on his face as he dashed to the back, towards the sound. Mark and Jackson ran behind him as well.

It was no or never.

As they neared, a warm voice began to sing. The song was mesmerizing. It was no doubt that the song was "Old Song" by Kim Dong Ryul.

Youngjae's favorite song.

The three boys stood behind, listening to the lovely voice sing his heart out, eyes shut.

As the last chord and line rang through the room, the boys anxiously waited for the other to turn around.

They expected to see his bright smile after having sung his favorite song.

They expected to see the excitement laced in his words as he laughed at nothing. Just like he always did.

They expected to see their Youngjae. The way they remembered.

Youngjae just sighed at the end of the song, shaking his head. He turned around in disappointed, ready to leave.

Jackson sprinted to catch the boy in an embrace.

He fell right through the boy.

Confused, he turned around, only to see the other unfazed, like he didn't feel anything.

The only reaction he received was Youngjae's frown deepening.

"Youngjae?" He asked, trying to catch his attention. The latter ignored him, like he couldn't hear him.

Jaebum and Mark stood back, just staring at the scene unfold in front of their wide eyes.

Jaebum was more caught on staring at the now, seemingly dead and drained face of his friend.

Youngjae seemed just so, so mad. He seemed like he was done with everything.

The dark demeanor of his had Jaebum wanting to just hold Youngjae and bring back the light that once shone in him.

But it wasn't there.

It was out.

Youngjae coldly shook off the feeling and continued walking out of the music shop.

In his mind, all he could think of was that he wasn't good enough just yet. He needed more practice. He needed to be perfect.

Once he left, Mark began to question his decision. After seeing of what had become of their youngest guardian, it seemed like everything was just going to become worse from that point. He began to think, whether approaching Youngjae was the right choice to have made.

~

It had been a long, tiresome day for Youngjae. The day literally began on the wrong side of the bed, as Youngjae woke up with a full night's sleep behind his back, yet the feeling of having no rest for the last month.

Working with absolutely no money, Youngjae had to walk to every place he went.

He started off with first arriving at a studio in downtown, sending in an application. It was another exhausting night at the diner he was working at when he was lounging on one of the chairs at a table. On the TV, an advertisement had flashed on the screen, one by the company RECORDz, claiming that they were looking for new singers to train. Auditions were to be held the within the next two weeks.

The thought to apply and try out hadn't even crossed his mind until a regular customer had suggested it.

"Youngjae-ah," The regular customer called from the counter. Walking to the front, Youngjae asked whether he needed anything, only to receive a shake of the head.

"RECORDz is looking for a new singer," He stated, giving the younger a smile. Not catching along, Youngjae frowned.

"Yea I know hyung," He replied. Dong sighed.

"I'm saying that you should apply."

Youngjae froze, only to let out a shaky laugh. "You're joking, right hyung?" The other sighed.

"No I'm not, I've heard you sing. You've got the gift man," He encouraged, giving Youngjae a pat on the head. "It doesn't hurt to try, does it?"

That last phrase had tortured Youngjae throughout the next few nights. Sure, the opportunity couldn't have any better timing. Youngjae had been looking for a way to start a brand new life, one away from the one that he couldn't recall.

The only memories he had were of his name and age. He had waken up in a shabby bed in a fairly small apartment, with his door being knocked on so hard, that it could be knocked down.

It was his boss, Mrs. Chu, who was yelling at him for missing two days of work. She had threatened him that she'd fire him if he didn't get off of his butt and come back right there and then.

Scared, Youngjae complied, spending the rest of the day racking his brain for any memory of anything. It was like trying to remember the names of your cousins that you met when you were 3. It was hopeless.

And thus, Youngjae dipped into his savings, making his face to the town where the RECORDz firm was.

He applied in the morning, facing a rude welcome from a very small man who had bumped into him.

The rest of the day, he just lay on his hotel bed, trying to get some sleep. In the end, he gave up and left to walk around the area.

A small music shop caught his attention, drawing him in, to the back, where a small piano called to him. Sitting down, Youngjae began to play the keys, singing the one song he remembered to play and sing. In other words, his audition song.

A sense of warmth suddenly filled the room, the familiar feeling surrounding him. It was nostalgic, and Youngjae felt himself relax into the song.

Yet at the end, he ended up with the same result: failure. In his mind he could just picture the disappointed faces of the judges from the label.

He needed to work more on his singing. He needed to be better.

Trudging out, Youngjae walked through the city, finding himself stopping at a large bridge. He peered down to the body of water beneath the architecture.

His small figure swayed into eh ripples of the water. Youngjae sighed and leaned on the railing, holding his head in his hands.

What made him even think that it was a good idea to audition?

All of this time and money wasted. Youngjae could've used it on something even more unproductive.

Grumpy, hopeless, and lost, Youngjae found himself staring at his ceiling as he always did.

Prepared to face the failure of the next few days, Youngjae settled into the pit of self-doubt he had grown accustomed to.

After all, that's what he was.

 

 

A disappointing piece of nothing.

 


	4. 3

The next morning Yugyeom tagged along with Bambam just to ensure that the boy would reach the studio in time for each one day. Not that any of his efforts would work. There was nothing that would stop the other boy from taking his time to prepare himself for the rest of the day.

Yugyeom leaned back on his bed, his head in his hand. In a tired voice, he spoke, "Bambam. That's your 5th outfit already."

In front of the mirror, Bambam smirked and continued buttoning the shirt. There may have been a slight chance that he was purposely changing his clothes to simply annoy his best friend. But that was highly unlikely since he was an innocent little child.

"You know, Yugyeommie? I don't really—"

"NO!" Yugyeom shrieked, dashing up and running to the mirror. "You-you look absolutely perfect! Stunning, dashing, spectacular!"

Bambam held his laughter back. "But I think that outfit right there suited me the best," he said, pointed to the very first outfit he had chosen.

Not noticing that it truly was the first outfit, Yugyeom threw it at Bambam and began to arrange the rest of the clothes scattered on the bed and floor.

"We're getting so late, Jinyoung hyung will kill us. First me and then _you_ ," He muttered, stressed.

Bambam's sly grin grew on his face, making him look like the Grinch. Once he finished changing, he clapped his hands cheerfully, putting his next step in the plan to action.

"Now time to choose my shoes!" He cheered, taking out the many bags of shoes he had.

Yugyeom stared at the footwear in pure fear. He looked like he was about to pass out.

Bambam had begun to line up the shoes when Yugyeom fell on the bed in defeat.

Mission accomplished.

~

Finally, finally, finally, Bambam was ready. Leaving with an exhausted Yugyeom, the duo briskly made their way towards the studio.

Yugyeom's phone buzzed in his pocket, and when he checked it was from none other than their friend and leader Jinyoung.

Cursing under his breath, he read the message:

**_yugyeom, I'm going to a meeting with PDnim. I may not be there when you come. Just start practicing and I'll be there._ **

Sighing, Yugyeom noticeably relaxed. Bambam looked over his shoulder to read the message, chuckling when he did so.

"All hail PDnim for saving us," He cheered, shaking Yugyeom. The younger simply rolled his eyes, commenting on how they were just lucky that there was a meeting today.

Bambam ignored Yugyeom. Spotting a coffee shop ahead, he grabbed his friend's arm and dragged him quickly to the café.

"Bam what are you--"

"We have time. Might as well use it to stay awake through the day."

Seeing reason in his friend's words, Yugyeom followed the boy into the shop. Standing in line, the two looked over the menu, specifically searching for a strong caffeine drink.

The person in front of them ordered, and the two couldn't help but hear their request.

"Give me your strongest shot," the person said in a tired, worn out voice.

"Tough night?" The cashier asked with a chuckle, reaching for a large cup. The other simply shrugged.

"Something like that."

Handing the warm cup of black coffee, the cashier wished him a good day.

When the person turned around, he almost ran into Bambam, thus causing him to jump back with a quiet shriek. When Bambam and the stranger locked eyes, a strange sense of deja vu overtook each individual. In the background, Yugyeom stared dumbfounded at the person in front of him.

"You again?!" Youngjae exclaimed. But Bambam didn't respond. The honey haired lad was too caught up at staring at the necklace the enraged boy in front of him was wearing: The silver circular necklace that had two opposite arcs, one on top of another, separated by a thin, straight line. As the accessory glinted in the light, Bambam swore he could see shimmers of sparks around it.

Once again, it took a harsh tug for him to snap out of his shocked trance. Yugyeom was staring, but not _at_ him, but at the door behind him.

"Bam, you saw that right? Is that--" He asked quickly in a small voice. Bambam nodded, quickly interjecting.

"Yea, it has to be. Remember yesterday? I had bumped into him in front of the studio."

Yugyeom turned to study his friend. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I wasn't sure if it was him."

Yugyeom frowned, nodding understandingly. "What about now?"

Bambam gulped, looking back at where the other boy had stood. "He's wearing the charm. There's no other explanation."

"The guardian charm?!"

Bambam nodded grimly. "The exact same one. Gyeom, this can't be a mere coincidence."

Just as Yugyeom was about to open his mouth to voice his thoughts, the cashier cleared his throat, rather loudly, giving them a look that revealed his impatience as well as everyone who was waiting on them.

Hastily, Bambam ordered the first drinks that came to his mind, eager to leave the café and get back to his rushed, overscheduled life.

But as he exited the small building, Yugyeom remained hung up on the same thing he had been pondering on the day before.

"What does this mean?" He asked quietly, sipping on his warm coffee.

Bambam shook his head, walking closely next to his friend. "I don't know, but I don't like it."

Yugyeom nodded, asking another question. "Why is he here?"

Now that was the enigma that had tortured Bambam the night before.

But it wasn't as relentless as the bigger question.

"How," Bambam corrected Yugyeom, looking up straight into the other's eyes.

"What?"

"How. The real question is how. How is he here on Earth?"

~

Jinyoung stepped into the office, only to see JYP standing and staring out of his window at the streets below.

Quietly shutting the door behind him, Jinyoung walked in.

"Hello PD-nim. You called me?"

JYP turned around, greeting the singer, gesturing him to sit on the seat in front of him. Jinyoung did so, confused at his boss' actions.

"It's the calm before the storm," He said coldly, more to himself than to the idol. Jinyoung didn't understand.

JYP just continued, pushing through the story. "Recently, I was contacted by an old friend of mine who had told me that a rival was stirring back into action."

Jinyoung frowned. Being one the best producer labels in the business, they had a lot of rivals. Too many to even count off of their fingers. However, never before has his boss ever been worried about any rivals, nevertheless any competition in the business. At least, not that he's seen him worried.

"What are you saying? Is there something to worry about?" He inquired.

"It's complicated," His boss tried to explain. "It's not that I'm worried about what they come out with. I couldn't care less about that. I'm worried because I know the head of this company. He's not exactly the most respectable, fair player in the game."

"Fair play?"

JYP sighed. "Let's just say, he'll do anything to get what he wants. And I've seen it in action."

Jinyoung was still confused. "What does that have to do with us?"

"He gave up because of defeat years ago. But now, he suddenly comes back?" JYP said. "Now, I've told you this Jinyoung because you are the leader of GOT, the biggest group in this franchise. You and the other two need to be warned. This man is not one to be reckoned with."

Nodding, Jinyoung acknowledged whatever his boss had just said.

In a way.

Having more experience in this business, Jinyoung saw his boss as a man with the skills to judge the future and make moves for it. That is how GOT got so big, so fast. It was all due to JYP's fast-paced, tactical planning.

Then, he realized something.

"Um, PD-nim, you never told me the name of the company, or this man."

JYP stared at Jinyoung for a spilt second, letting out a small sigh.

 

"You may have heard of them in the news. The name of the man is Kwon Kwan. And he is the head of RECORDz."

 


	5. 4

Jinyoung glanced at his watch yet again.

The two idiots were late.

Again.

Annoyed he rolled his eyes when he remembered that Yugyeom had only waited for Bambam to ensure that he got here earlier.

They're later than usual.

Should he be worried?

Slightly he was. But their town wasn't as loud in crimes as you'd expect. Despite being large, not many thefts or assaults occurred on the streets. Due to that fact, many were comfortable even to take slow walks alone at the latest times of the night.

Thus, Jinyoung was more impatient than worried. The fact that he had the news of his meeting to discuss with his members didn't simmer the flame.

It was only fuel for the fire.

The sounds of hinges creaking filled the empty dance room, bouncing off the mirrors. In the reflections Jinyoung could see the two blank faces of his members enter in and look up. Their gazes locked and immediately the oldest dropped all of his thoughts.

Something was wrong.

Jumping up, he approached the young boys.

"You're late," He started, stating the blatant obvious.

Bambam bowed his head as Yugyeom did the same, voicing their apologies slightly. Then they began to move towards the dance floor, only to stop when they saw Jinyoung's waiting expression.

"We got you coffee," Bambam said, handing over the coffee. Ignoring that, Jinyoung cut to the chase.

"Why were you late?"

Yugyeom and Bambam shared a look, conversing on the matter telepathically.

A moments passed before Jinyoung cleared his throat to bring their attention back to his question.

"Hyung we were going to tell you after the practice," Yugyeom started, shaking the back of his head. "But—"He drifted off, looking away.

Jinyoung frowned. What could it possibly be that had his two lively friends in silence? "But what?"

"We saw Youngjae." Bambam spoke plainly.

Jinyoung doubled in his spot. "What?!" It must be another Youngjae.

"Well, I saw him twice, but we ran into him today," The honey haired lad started explaining.

"Youngjae?!? As in Joo In Hyung's guardian Youngjae?" The question was answered with two quick nods.

"It's him. He was wearing the same guardian charm." Yugyeom explained quickly.

Jinyoung frowned, the gears in his mind turning. "What is he doing here? How is he even here?"

Bambam shrugged. "I was caught up thinking about that yesterday too. But I--"

Jinyoung shook his head, holding out his hand, signaling the others to hold their words for a moment. He needed to process this information. Taking a seat on the sofa, he let out a sigh.

"Have you seen the others?"

Bambam shook his head, joining the leader on the couch with Yugyeom following his tail.

"Uh, hyung? He seemed, how do I say this—"

"Off." Yugyeom completed for him.

"Off?" Jinyoung repeated.

"He doesn't give off the same impression as the old one did. He seems more—"

"Dark. Mean. Scary." Yugyeom said, beginning to go off on a chain of negative words, stopping only when Bambam gave him a light shove.

Deep in thought, Jinyoung tried to formulate ideas how Youngjae could've made it to Earth. From this situation he was able to determine something: The guardians are still alive. Well, existent since they were never really alive before, only spirits granted a chance to live for the purpose of bringing happiness for their master. They were still around in the world somewhere.

"So I guess that means that the others are also out there." He concluded out loud. Suddenly, Bambam's eyes widened, as if a lightbulb went off of in his head.

"Hyung, I think I know where we could find them," He exclaimed immediately, the idea shining brightly in his mind.

Two pairs of eyes snapped to look at him, causing Bambam to slightly cower under their hard gazes.

"Where?" Yugyeom asked a little too eagerly.

"Um", Bambam stammered. "At the skate park."

Upon seeing that no one seemed to be catching on, he explained how he would bike and feel a familiar presence and sometimes think that Mark was there and how he thought the was clearly going insane. The encounter with the singing guardian only made the feeling much more worse than before until that moment, where he explained how he thinks that possibly it was Mark all of those times.

At the end of the long, quickly spoken story, Bambam and Jinyoung shared a brief look.

"It's the only lead we have hyung," Yugyeom pressed, trying to persuade the other.

Jinyoung rubbed his face in exhaustion from the practices and the shock from everything that had just happened.

"What are we waiting for? Let's go." He ordered, standing up to leave the studio, his own news long forgotten.

~

It seemed like after meeting Youngjae, the situation only worsened, as if it were a sign that he was meant to be gone.

But Jaebum didn't want to believe that.

Neither of them did.

Suffocated by the thick tension that had situated itself between the three of them, there was no room to take a breath.

They were afraid that even a single move could break the universe as theirs had.

The spark within them was slowly beginning to disappear.

They were suffering.

It felt like they were dying.

Down on Earth Jaebum wondered how his young sunshine was doing. How he was there living life alone as a human.

A _human_.

Youngjae was a human and Jaebum couldn't quite put his finger on whether it was jealousy or confusion that he was feeling. He couldn't figure out whether he was feeling any certain emotion at all.

Dazed, Jaebum hadn't noticed that Mark was staring out of the portal until the other jumped through it.

Jolted awake, Jaebum frantically looked around the room, seeing Jackson frowning at him in worry.

"You okay?" He asked him. Jaebum gulped, looking down to where Mark was.

Squinting, he vaguely saw the red head approach three other men.

"Is that—"

"GOT? Yea," Jackson finished for him. Ushering Jaebum to follow him, he led the older one down to where Mark was.

Bambam was staring at them, sending a jerk of shivers down their spine.

"Mark?" He asked. "Are you there?"

Yugyeom looked around, afraid that others would see them. Could you imagine what would happen if someone caught them speaking to nothing but air?

Mark replied, but it was useless, the other boy couldn't here them.

It was chilly night, the wind was blowing gale force winds.

Jackson let out a breath, and from in the midst of shielding his eyes, Jinyoung managed to catch a glimpse of the faint cloud.

Frowning, he looked harder in that direction. Jaebum, catching onto what the other saw, turned to Jackson.

"Jackson, use your powers! Breath out some fire!"

Perplexed, the fire guardian followed his friend's order, drawing a deep breath.

When it was released, a larger puff of fog danced in the air, longer than before as Jackson tried to hold and concentrate his power in it.

Seeing the strange cloud remain in a local area, Jinyoung's suspicions rose.

There was a source of heat.

Someone was producing heat.

"Jackson?" He asked out loud. Shocked, Jackson let go, the power dissolving into the air.

Meanwhile, Jaebum smiled slightly, an idea running through his mind. However his idea would only work if the other side caught on as well. And so Jaebum crossed his fingers as he waited for the next move.

"Jackson?" Jinyoung called out again. "Is that you?"

Mark gave Jackson an elbow nudge, gesturing to the expecting Jaebum. Sighing at his friend's ignorance, Jaebum instructed him to reply through his power.

A lightbulb illuminated in his brain as Jackson eagerly tried to summon his power.

Once again a faint cloud danced in the cold air, confirming what was already seen. The guardians were there.

Smiling in relief, the three members of GOT exchanged high fives at their success.

After celebrating their victory, the leader turned back to their invisible friends to get back to their reason of visiting.

"We're going to ask you yes and no questions. Just reply if it's yes. Okay?" He explained.

A signal came.

Yugyeom was the first to ask, a happy, bright memory flashing through his mind.

"Did you make Bambam's lollipop melt?" He asked in the middle of his laughs.

A hesitant yes.

Bambam jumped up, rolling his sleeves, ready to fight, only to be held back by Jinyoung who himself was trying not to laugh.

And so the questions continued. It must've been the fact that each of the humans realized that their guardian friends were alive and not dead that sent them into a frenzy of nostalgia. They took the opportunity to apologize for the troubles they had given them before. They also questioned the rare strange events that had occurred. All of which turned out to be the cause of Jackson.

And then, in the midst of the laughter shared happiness, the bomb was suddenly dropped.

"Is Youngjae with you guys?"

**No.**

And that was that.

The punchline.

It was the bullseye, the finish line, the SAT score goal reached.

The piercing silence that followed after was nullified by the next question.

"Do you know he's on Earth?"

**Yes.**

The striking obvious fact was even more bright than ever.

"Do you know why?"

**No.**

Lastly, there it was.

The turning point. The twist in the plot.

Some would consider it a cliffhanger since neither of the two parties knew where to go from there. They had no idea what to do next.

For what could they do? Especially when they didn't know the consequences.

At that moment the future glared back at them, mocking at their uncertainty.

And the six boys just stood there, blocked by the invisible yet apparent barriers between them, conversing on how to help their friend and bring him back home.

 


	6. 5

Despite his frustration and nerves, Youngjae sat up that day from the warmth and comfort of the nest of blankets and pillows he had made in his bed.

And there he sat, unmoving for a good amount of time, just staring at the nothingness in the plain white wall directly in front of him.

At least he was awake.

Right?

Stuck in his trance, Youngjae almost fell asleep with his eyes open. When he snapped back into reality, he jerked back, heart beating fast.

He felt as if he were suddenly falling into a dark,  pit less abyss at that exact moment.

Still trying to catch his breath from the fright, Youngjae shakily walked out of his bed, heading straight to the bathroom to freshen up, still not having looked at the time.

Youngjae splashed the ice cold water on his face in hopes to wake himself up. It worked, however, the water was practically frozen, giving the effect that he had actually thrown ice cubes on his face. Letting out a little shriek, Youngjae pushed past the strange pain and grabbed his toothbrush.

Brushing his teeth, Youngjae examined his reflection in the mirror, noticing the puffiness around his eyes and the dark circles that surrounded the brown orbs.

He noticed how the lighting of the bathroom made him look like a corpse (or was that how he actually looked normally?).

Casually strolling out of the bathroom, Youngjae stretched, letting out his tiredness in a loud yawn.

His eyes creaking open, he caught a slim glimpse of the clock in the room.

"Crap."

~

He probably broke like 5 records with the speed that Youngjae got ready. He was also probably wearing his clothes the wrong way, the shirt tag glaring at him in front of his face.

His disheveled hair wasn't complying to his attempts to tame it with pat down. Then again, what more could a pat down do?

As he ran for the gold medal in the long run Olympics, Youngjae saw the same coffee shop from the day before flash past his peripheral vision.

His stomach growled, his will power suddenly diminishing as his instincts scolded at him to get something, even a piece of gum, to eat. However, there was no time. Youngjae was already running late for the waited audition, and he didn't want to prolong it any more than he already had.

But as he sprinted across the sidewalk, earning him weird looks from the passerby's, he couldn't help but also pinpoint another reason to not get something to break the fast he had during his slumber.

 _You could lose some weight_ , the annoying little voice nagged him in the back of his head.

 _I KNOW!_ Youngjae wanted to yell at it.

 _I'm sorry_ , it apologized. _I meant that you could lose a LOT of weight_.

And Youngjae wasn't able to see the lie.

~

At last, he was standing in the lobby, all signed in, and quickly fixed up in the bathroom.

It was almost time for him to enter the room where a panel of judges would probably be seated, ready to judge every detail about the young auditioneer.

Nervously, Youngjae played with his chain around his neck subconsciously. He could just picture it right there. Youngjae messing up and being kicked right out. He could practically hear the laughs of everyone in that building right then, saying things about him such as their amazement at what had made him think that he even had a chance to make it big in the world.

And just like that, with the dark negative words racing through his broken brain, the adrenaline and energy that was pumping through his veins in the morning dissolved into nothingness. Leaving the raven haired singer in a lonely pit full of darkness.

Snapping him back from the lost, fake reality Youngjae had created for himself was the shrill, high pitched voice of the receptionist.

"Choi Youngjae?" Her beady eyes searched over the lobby for the face that would match such a name. Youngjae didn't know what she was expecting, and he wasn't even more sure when she saw him stand up and give him a good look up and down. Her expression was blank as she pointed down the hall.

Smoothening his worn out button down, Youngjae looked at the double doors that would possibly be his death right at that moment.

He had come so far.

Youngjae wasn't the type to waste his efforts.

Sighing, he pushed open the doors.

It was now or never.

~

There's nothing worse than leaving an audition or competition with no feedback or definite outcome of your efforts. The uncertainty had the knack of eating a person alive.

All of these weights of doubt and self-despise were just a collection of snow on the top of the mountain waiting to fall as an avalanche over Youngjae.

The fragile boy was—

"Choi Youngjae?"

For some strange reason, Youngjae had been told to wait in the lobby right after he sang. There were only a few others left sitting there as well, looking either bored as hell or nervous beyond compare.

It was probably a good thing, Youngjae tried to reassure himself, he passed the first level?

Youngjae once again reached to his neck to play with the chain, only to find it gone. A strange sense of pain overtook him as his eyes darted around everywhere looking for it.

"Choi Youngjae?!" His name was called out again, and Youngjae sprang up once again, robotically heading straight to the auditioning room. The fear and worry for the chain instantly disappearing his mind.

The receptionist cleared her throat, gesturing to him to follow her instead. Shakily he did so.

They navigated through the maze of the building, making their way to the top of the tower.

Even larger double doors greeted Youngjae as he was led into the room.

There was nothing but a desk in the middle. The tall walls were windows that glinted in the sunlight. At the desk, a fairly average heighted man who was wearing the generic tuxedo, his raven hair in a large, obnoxious quaff.

Youngjae's first impression?

Hell. No.

But he was far too deep in the process now to turn back.

"Choi Youngjae? Please take a seat," The man said too cheerfully. Like he had been waiting for Youngjae to enter those doors for a long time.

"You know?" He began. "I was waiting for a moment to talk to you after I saw you perform earlier in the day." Ah. There you go.

Youngjae was confused, and it must've shown through his face because the other man chuckled right away.

He explained. "After hearing your wonderful voice, I was eager to have a one on one moment with you right away to talk about our future together."

"Our future?" Youngjae repeated quietly, his own voice startling him.

"Yes. Our future. I'd like for you to join me."

Youngjae just kept thinking about how this all seemed weird, foreign, and just _uncomfortable_.

Didn't people normally go through the trainee process for like years before even being considered to debut?

"What about the trainee process?" He asked, voicing his thoughts.

The man was caught off guard. "Well, you surely must've heard the news. This is the company's big comeback. Thus, we kind of need someone who can cope with the fast pace and someone with the talent that it needed to project our name to the top headlines of every chart in the world."

Youngjae's eyebrows rose. "And you think _I_ can do that?!?" He sounded remarkably surprised, which he was.

Shrugging, the older man leaned back. "Me? Yea. I can see you successful in the future under our label." He reached into one of his drawers. "As for whether it will happen. It's up to you. Do you think you can cope? Do you think you can make it with us?" He pushed a thin file in front of Youngjae, a fancy fountain pen alongside.

Leaning forward, Youngjae hesitantly picked it up, revealing a single sheet of paper with a contract outlined. Youngjae's name was on the top, and to be honest, Youngjae could smell the fresh print of the sheet.

It was the basics: 10-year contract, and the guidelines and risks it would be to be an idol. Along with it was the trainee time period, which was only labeled as a few months.

That wasn't the thing that bothered Youngjae.

At the bottom was a small paragraph written in fine print, so fine, he could not read it.

"Do not fret over that. That is the insurance bull crap that we had to add due to the insurance companies knocking down on our doors, whining for some required clause." For someone about to run a large company, this man was surely quite informal.

Seeing the legitimacy in the man's words, Youngjae nodded, skimming over the document again.

Well, he wasn't necessarily reading.

He was looking at the one document that could change the course of his life right then and there.

Moments later, the fountain pen was opened, and the contract was inked with the now soon to be idol's signature.

The same pile of snow that had weighed down Youngjae just hours before melted down into nothingness as a warm feeling of pride and accomplishment flooded him instead.

It was strange but nice.

He welcomed it fully heartedly.

That was it.

He was official.

The other man smiled brightly, offering him his hand. Youngjae accepted the hand shake instantly.

"It was a pleasure talking to you Choi Youngjae," The man said.

Youngjae actually laughed in glee. "As was mine, umm—"

"Kwon Kwan. That's my name. But soon you'll call me PD-nim," Kwan joked, earning another loud laugh from the younger.

As Youngjae exited the premises with a folder full of detail, he couldn't help but feel hopeful for the time to come.

There was a smile on his face that wasn't showing any signs of disappearing.

 

Not that he'd ever want to let it go.

 


	7. 6

The hushed whispers, that were passed among the members in the JYP building that day, all built up to be a constant roar of a buzz.

Everyone was talking.

In the dance studio, Jinyoung was working on choreography with Yugyeom, trying to devise a new move to trademark for their upcoming single and comeback.

They, too, had noticed the whispers, but didn't pay much attention to it. They automatically assumed that the teams were working together to keep up with the outer world, as a new trend had popped up. Such scenarios were fairly common.

As they were just about to try out their 9th version of the new move, Bambam walked into the studio, right after a meeting.

"Have you heard of a company named RECORDz?" He asked curiously, sitting by the desktop right next to the entrance, phone in his hand as he looked over the work done (which to be honest wasn't much to look over on a desktop screen).

Yugyeom shook his head, reaching over Bambam to grab his water bottle. "Why?"

Bambam shrugged. "It's this new company apparently. The PD-nim just tweeted something about a new debut or something. It's not exactly the most normal tweet."

Yugyeom peered over Bambam's shoulders, squinting to see the small characters on the illuminated screen held in front of his face.

The tweet said:

_A debut company and a debut debut #WhatisRECORDzupto_

Grimacing at the hashtag, Yugyeom snorted at the tweet itself. "Is that going to be their thing then? What's _____ up to?" He stated.

Bambam rolled his eyes. "Who knows. They're just _debuting_. Could just be a debut thing." Sharing a look, the two of them shared a fit of giggles.

Jinyoung took the phone, taking a minute to read the tweet itself.

"Yah hyung you okay? You've got worry lines," Bambam noticed.

Jinyoung nodded slightly, lost in his thoughts. Recalling the meeting with his boss in the last two days, Jinyoung was contemplating on whether he should reveal the news.

It had been pending since the day before due to well, other reasons.

Speaking of other reasons, they had to focus on those as well.

As he looked at his member's concerned expressions, Jinyoung decided to keep the information to himself. It's not like RECORDz were doing anything just yet. They were just born. If anything suspicious were to arise, Jinyoung promised to himself that he'd inform the others.

"Yea, yea," Jinyoung laughed. "Just zoned out from being tired, that's all," He tried to divert the conversation.

Shrugging, the maknae line went back to the computer, Yugyeom filling Bambam in on all that he missed.

Jinyoung pitched in, time to time, helping them catch up.

Time ticked by, and soon the clock hands struck 4.

Promptly, they all shut down their work and gathered in a circle on the floor.

It was time to discuss the more important matter on hand.

"Yah," Yugyeom began, lounging against the wall. "How exactly are we going to find Youngjae?"

Bambam's eyes glinted in the fluorescent lights, a smirk etching its way on his face.

"We split up and look for clues."

~

Searching the three points of the city, each member ventured through the area that they felt that they knew more.

Jinyoung searched in the upper end, where all of the business people resided. Being the leader of his group, he was here quite often and more comfortable to present himself formerly than having to fret over his every move unlike the others.

Bambam handled the school area and the malls surrounding it. Being the tech and media savvy boy he was, he had his connections in this dies of the city. It was how he stayed so up to date with his hectic schedule.

Lastly, Yugyeom took the downtown of the city. Sometimes before his contract, Yugyeom would sneak out to visit the dark end to participate or witness heated dance battles. His escapades helped him to learn the tricks and rules of the area. Along with his strength, Yugyeom conquered the area.

The first two had no real luck. Jinyoung saw no sign of a teenager in the crowd of men and women.

Bambam looked in the corners of each place, knowing that Youngjae wouldn't tend to stick out in the crowd. In the end, distracted by the people and the fact that he was repeatedly failing, Bambam also gave up hope.

Having talked to a few old friends, Yugyeom gained knowledge of a few new people checking into the run down hotel on the street. Understanding that waiting for the people wasn't an option, Yugyeom looked in each of the stores on that street.

He ran into a few people who recognized him, however no Youngjae.

It wasn't until he was about to give up when he saw a glimpse of the boy through the hotel windows in the lobby. Dashing, he tried to catch up to the boy.

The elevator was just about to close before Yugyeom slipped in, frightening Youngjae. Yugyeom cheered mentally at his success in finding Youngjae. As for the other, upon a closer look, Youngjae noticeably relaxed, but a cold expression flashed on his face.

Awkwardly, Yugyeom introduced himself. "I'm Yugyeom a me—"

"You hang out with that long legged kid right?" Youngjae interrupted abruptly.

Yugyeom nodded carefully.

"Then I'm not interested."

Stunned, Yugyeom blinked, trying to come up with a remark to respond to the other's immediate shutdown. Noticing the other's confusion, Youngjae rolled his eyes.

"The dumbass is always bumping and then staring at me. It's creepy," Youngjae continued, shaking his head. He sounded like he was ready to fight someone.

Yugyeom face palmed.

"Ignore him," Now it was his turn to sound frustrated at his best friend's blatant stupidity.

Youngjae snorted.

"He's not—" Yugyeom tried to explain, needing to get Youngjae's attention. "Normal."

Youngjae gave him a look. "I couldn't have guessed." Looking Yugyeom up and down, he spoke. "Why are you even here?"

The elevator was about to ding for his floor.

Yugyeom began to open his mouth, but halted, unable to think of a reason that would be okay to answer.

Youngjae took the silence for another thing, stepping away from the boy quickly.

"Listen, for the past few months I haven't been able to remember anything at all. If I owe anything to you, or anything of the sort, just straight out tell me. I'm not looking for trouble." He said quickly, rushing the words out.

"Remember?"

"Doctors say its selective amnesia. Sure selected great memories for me to forget," Youngjae explained, bitterly.

_Ding!_

Youngjae started moving forward, not waiting for the other's answer. Yugyeom stood dumbfounded.

_CantRememberCantRememberCantRememberCantRemember ..._

_"_ Can't remember!" He exclaimed, sprinting to Youngjae.

"Youngjae!" He called out. The other froze upon hearing his name.

Hesitantly turning around, he looked at the really tall boy.

"How did you know my name?"

Yugyeom laughed it off. "I'll explain later. Just, I was wondering if I could exchange numbers."

"If you knew me, shouldn't you have it already?" Youngjae's suspicions were rising at the sudden question and perkiness.

Again, Yugyeom laughed (strangely).

"New phone carrier."

Still skeptical, Youngjae gave out his number. More like Yugyeom stole his phone out of his head, but still, he gave out his number. When Yugyeom left with an enthusiastic 'BYE SEE YOU SOON!', Youngjae immediately went back to his contacts and changed the name:

**_Creepy ass guy with stupid ass friend_ **

Now he could've deleted the contact. But something in him was screaming out to keep it.

~

Bambam was half asleep on the couch when Yugyeom barged in, his attitude a bit too bright for the sleeping man.

"Shut up," Bambam whined.

Yugyeom chuckled.

"The mission failed for you, huh?"

Not liking the youngest's tone, Bambam challenged him back. "And you haven't?"

Yugyeom smirked, holding out his phone.

"Why don't you check to see?"

Calling out the bluff, Bambam snatched the phone.

Sure enough, there was the proof:

**_Contact: Youngbae_ **

**_Address: Kim Hotel in downtown_ **

"Here's the better news," Yugyeom announced. "Our little guardian has no memories whatsoever."

"That's good news," Bambam noted, even though he didn't want to acknowledge the other's success.

"I know," Yugyeom said proudly.

Suddenly the door to the room opened, revealing a stressed out Jinyoung.

"Find nothing?" Bambam asked as Jinyoung walked in slowly.

The latter shrugged. "I found out who the new debut from _RECORDz_ is," prouncing the name of the company with some sort of malice.

"Who?"

"Youngjae." Yugyeom did a double take.

"Youngjae?!?"

Jinyoung nodded, holding his head in his hands as he leaned against the wall.

Bambam straightened out, sensing the worry. "There's more isn't there?"

Jinyoung sighed. "Remember that meeting I had with PD-nim?" The two nodded. "He warned us to beware of the new company, saying that he had history with the head." He looked ahead of him. "He thinks that they're up to no good."

Bambam's eyebrows furrowed, as he launched deep in thought. "With Youngjae signed already, do you think something is up?"

Yugyeom replied. "What though? What could they possibly need?" Jinyoung glanced at Yugyeom curiously.

"Did you find anything?" He asked. Immediately Yugyeom presented the contact on his phone.

"I guess now all we can do is to keep tabs on Youngjae, make sure he's okay," Bambam explained, scratching the back of his neck. "We don't have enough information."

"We will." Jinyoung replied shortly. The two other members gave him a strange look.

"We'll investigate RECORDz. At least we have a lead now to know where to start," He explained.

Even though the three of them agreed and wrapped up that night's mission, they couldn't help but remain unnerved by all of these events. The questions running through their heads once again drove them mad.

Back at the hotel, even Youngjae was left restless. He couldn't help but think of the tall, young lad. Strangely, he felt that he knew him. 

 

Both parties were lost in figuring out the relationships of the things they were trying to find.

 

Both parties were going in circles again and again.

 

Every answer had a question.

 

And every question had no answer.

 


	8. 7

After their meeting with GOT, the guardians were significantly relieved. They knew that they could trust their friends on Earth to ensure that Youngjae was safe and to find out what the hell was exactly going on.

After all that they had been through with In Hyung and the dance competition, each side had learned a respect for each other, creating a bond that was practically unbreakable. Blame it on their similar experiences, but they were incredibly close.

Thus, even though the worry lingered in the air around them, the blanket of tension was thinner than before.

The night after their first investigation, the members had informed the guardians of Youngjae's whereabouts. Having to deal with schedules, they said that they wouldn't be able to look over him, however, since the guardians were astral projections, they could.

That night Jinyoung had told the others to not tell Mark, Jackson and Jaebum about the strangeness of the RECORDz company.

"We still need some more information," He had said. "We don't want to worry them anymore than they are."

With no argument, the members complied.

Meanwhile, with their newfound information, the guardians were more than excited to check on their youngest member the next morning.

And so they 'patiently' waited.

Or for the lack of better words, they listened to Jackson express ALL of his feelings in a blabbering mess.

"Trees are like the pseudo helpers of the world!"

"Can they pseudo help us from this torture?"

"Shut up Mark."

~

That morning Youngjae woke up with a proper plan for the day.

He had actual things to do.

First on his list was a training session, followed by a wardrobe shopping walk.

Now Youngjae knew that he wasn't a fan of exercising or work. If he had the chance, he would laze around all day in bed, not even bothering to get food to eat because chances are that he'd have a mini fridge right next to him. Not that he didn't do that already. Minus the mini fridge though.

However, he woke up, not wanting to be late and disappoint his new, perky boss. Youngjae was kind of warmed whenever he'd think of his boss. The positivity was contagious and Youngjae was liking the way his thoughts were taking a turn for the better.

It was giving him a break from the constant criticism he'd think about unconsciously.

Dressing up in normal black sweatpants and a plain white tee, Youngjae topped his messy, unbridled hair with a snapback. Grabbing a quick apple, Youngjae was ready to leave for the day.

As he did, he felt as if someone were watching him. But strangely enough, there was no one around. Scared, Youngjae walked downstairs with a quick pace.

Back in the room, the guardians were standing, looking around the room.

They noted the obvious messiness and disorganization. Jaebum shook his head at the mess, already scolding Youngjae in his mind.

Jackson walked out into the hallway to see the elevator close.

"Hey guys, this way!" He exclaimed, leading the way to Youngjae.

Mark and Jaebum jogged behind him at the slow pace he had set. Even if they were unseen, they kept their distance for privacy purposes. Also, there was no saying that Youngjae couldn't sense them, maybe some of that guardian energy was still there, just locked away.

The trio were shocked when they saw Youngjae walk through many hallways, getting lost many times, before arriving at the entrance of a gym.

"Gym?" Jackson wondered out loud. "Youngjae's going to a gym?"

Mark nodded, acknowledging the other's amazement. Jaebum on the other hand rolled his eyes.

"He's going to be an idol. Of course he's going to the gym," He stated as if the fact was the most obvious thing ever. Shrugging, Jackson walked in the room.

There standing in the middle of the dance studio was Youngjae and another man, someone who looked like he was a trainer. From what they could tell, he was.

The trainer began educating Youngjae on the importance of diet and exercise, explaining how he was going to personalize the routines for Youngjae, making it more effective and less costly on the body. Youngjae was listening very intently, keeping certain facts about significant changes in the back of his head.

Then the man led Youngjae into the next room which was revealed to be the actual training room. The equipment in the area was all brand new, the shine glinting in the bright lights.

Immediately, wasting no time, the trainer began the basics, teaching Youngjae some stretches and how to use the machines. Along the way, the man took some notes, noting the soon to be star's weaknesses and strengths.

Surprising, Youngjae did well in most areas. He was either average or barely above average in the areas that he was tested on.

Upon analyzing this, the trainer looked slightly relieved, seeing that he had dealt with worse cases. Giving Youngjae compliments on his strengths, he continued with the reps.

The guardians just fooled around the room, Jaebum and Jackson having some competitions with each other, as Mark was the referee. When Mark eavesdropped into Youngjae's conversation, he smiled when he heard the positive remarks.

Jackson tuned in as well and he snorted. "He can thank me for training him," He commented about Youngjae. Jaebum gave him a punch on the shoulder.

"We all did," He pointed out. This only sparked another silly competition.

Mark just stood there, laughing and rolling his eyes.

Sometimes his friends were just too much.

~

Honestly, Youngjae didn't expect the exercise session to go by so quickly. The trainer was really nice and friendly and Youngjae found himself enjoying the exercises, which was probably the biggest shock of the day till that point.

After the session, Youngjae was dropped at the mall where another person, a lady, was waiting for him.

It was his new dresser.

She greeted him, leading him to a restaurant where they both had a salad together as she too introduced him to her job and involvement with Youngjae's upcoming debut.

It wasn't long before they were perusing through the many shops, stopping by the more popular ones first. The stylist was merely trying to understand how each look seemed on Youngjae.

As a result, Youngjae was told to try on over 100 outfits. No joke. Each time he'd awkwardly display himself, the girl would simply nod or shake her head before throwing another combination of clothes in his hands.

They didn't really buy much, only the basics for the training and the dance practices. The girl had told him that his actual outfits would arrive a while before the music video.

At that Youngjae froze, the realization that he was going to have a music video dawning on him. He couldn't even imagine it, it all seeming so unreal. Yet there he was, being told that he was guaranteed to star in one.

Youngjae was hopeful.

Lastly, the two decided to stop by a thrift shop.

"Old is gold," The stylist had commented. "There is more variety here than anywhere else."

Youngjae was expecting another round of outfit trials. Yet, once again, the dresser surprised him, letting him run loose to get his own. She said she needed to know what he was comfortable in wearing and his preferences.

And so Youngjae made his way to the very back where jackets were lined up.

The guardians were close on his tail. They had seen it all. The ridiculous outfits that he had worn had them laughing till tears. Then there were the outfits that shone a completely different light on Youngjae, showing what they realized was his sexy side. They had always seen Youngjae as the cute sunshine of their group, thus this new viewpoint was definitely a new favorite of theirs.

When Youngjae picked up a jean jacket, Jackson snorted, commenting on how that was all the younger would wear besides that one black and white sweatshirt.

Thinking the same, Youngjae put it back, looking for something brand new to wear.

In the end he saw a line of puffy jackets of different colors. Taking them out, he tried them one, posing in front of the mirror.

Once again, the three guardians broke into a fit of giggles at the cute sight in front of them: a fluffy Youngjae in front of them trying to be sexy. It was quite the sight.

Youngjae seemed to like the look, seeing that he grabbed a few of the jackets and draped them over his arm with a slight smile on his face.

Just as he was about to leave, a cart in the distance caught his eye. It was a toy cart, and as Youngjae neared it, he caught a glimpse of the particular toy that had captured his attention.

Bending on his knee, Youngjae reached out to grab the red hair of the doll in front of him.

Behind him, the guardians peered over curiously to see what was going on. Mark got the better look, his eyes widening at what he saw.

Youngjae pulled out the doll to reveal it to be Mark's doll that In Hyung had.

Of course, he didn't know that then. When he stared at the doll, he felt the strange urge to speak to it, like it was a person that he knew closely.

Mark walked forward, wanting to see how Youngjae would react.

A sudden feeling of loneliness washed over Youngjae, as he got the sense that he was missing someone deeply that he was separated from.

The sudden darkness was cold and unwelcoming.

Youngjae frowned at the doll, thinking that it was the source of the problem.

"Ya, what do you want from me?" He whispered. He got no reply and the feeling got worse. His frown deepened as he repeated his question louder.

The silence following was unnerving. In the back the guardians didn't know how to react to Youngjae's sudden change in attitude.

Meanwhile, Youngjae was battling himself against the instinct that said to take the 'toy' with him.

"I'm not a kid anymore," He reasoned coldly. "I'm going to be an idol. I can't be immature like this."

Tossing the toy back in the cart, Youngjae quickly turned on his heels to briskly walk to the register.

He walked right through Mark, ignoring the toy behind him. At that moment, Mark felt a sharp, cold pain in his heart, stunned by the way Youngjae had talked to his doll, the hatred in his voice bringing Mark down to his core. Jaebum and Jackson ran up to him to hold him, not understanding what to do. Mark wasn't really responding. He was just staring at the place where Youngjae once was.

Meanwhile, Youngjae didn't even spare a look as he walked past all of the aisles until he was at the cashier where the bright stylist was waiting for him.

Only then did he glance back. Yet, even still, Youngjae pushed past the tug in his heart as his followed his stylist out of the store, bags in his hand.

A strange guilt was chewing at his insides, burning Youngjae's efforts to think of anything else.

By the time the two had almost reached the exit, Youngjae decided that he had had just enough of everything. Throwing the bag in the girl's arms, he quickly explained that he would be right back before turning his back to sprint past everyone back to the lonely toy cart in the back of the shop.

He ran and ran, a sense of worry electrifying in him, the worry of losing the doll.

Out of breath, Youngjae fell to his knees in front of the cart where he frantically fished for the doll. It was laying in the back corner where Youngjae had tossed it.

Youngjae held it close to his chest before instinctively sighing in relief.

And so he stood up, to pay for the item and return back to his home.

As he did so, Jackson spared a look back to the place. The three of them were on their way back to their place in the stars to comfort their oldest broken hyung. Mark had finally broken down, after that scene not able to keep the strong façade on anymore.

Jackson frowned, squinting as he saw Youngjae walk away with Mark's red haired doll held tightly in his arms protectively.

Eyes widening, Jackson gripped Mark's arm to turn him around to see it all. Jaebum tried to stop Jackson but himself halted at the sight of Youngjae and the doll.

He was standing at the register, cashing in his change.

Just as he did so, he looked at the doll, still unable to pinpoint why he was so attached.

But he didn't care.

Smiling softly, Youngjae apologized genuinely.

"I've got you," He said lastly before he felt at peace enough to go home, the doll tucked under his arm.

And just as Mark heard those words, he was knocked out of his trance, a strange feeling circling his heart. He felt a bond tug him to Youngjae and that's when he smiled, slumping back worn out but okay.

Jackson and Jaebum caught each other's glances before smiling as well.

"I knew he'd come through," Jaebum spoke. "He is our Youngjae after all."

~

Youngjae was about to jump into bed to call it a night. But once on the mattress, he couldn't fall asleep right away.

Sighing, Youngjae turned his head, only to meet gazes with the doll that he had so emotionally invested in that day. Thinking, Youngjae brought it right next to him, giving the doll the second pillow to rest its head on.

Youngjae stared at the figurine curiously trying to think of the reasons that he'd have the attachment to it.

"What's your name?" He asked, playing with the bright red hair strands. Did anyone even have hair like that?

Of course the toy didn't answer. Toys couldn't talk.

Youngjae hummed. Giving another good look to the doll, he turned on his back, a grin on his face.

"Mark." He stated. "You seem like a Mark."

The night whistled suddenly, the wind blowing against his window in agreement.

It seemed like the universe was agreeing to his decision.

Chuckling slightly, Youngjae felt his eyelids droop closed.

"Well then," He yawned. "Good night Mark. See you tomorrow morning."

Youngjae fell asleep.

Youngjae had the deepest and most fulfilling sleep of his life that night.

He may have woken up the next morning hugging the small doll.

Might have.

If he did, he wasn't going to say anything.

 


	9. 8

That next day, Bambam set out to work, using his strengths to his advantage in his investigation.

Understand this: He's the king of social media out of the three of them. He knew the ups and downs, the exits and entrances, and the blueprint of the world wide web.

Bambam had the access to mostly anything under his fingers on the screen of his phone.

Bambam was aware that a new company must have one crucial element for it to succeed in the future: trainees. He was also aware that Youngjae had auditioned, making it easy to assume that others auditioned as well.

Auditioners = Trainees. It was a simple conclusion.

Thus, with new people in the company, word must've gotten around. People must've posted excitedly or to boast. You get the gist.

So after this, Bambam was left with nothing but his fake, private accounts and the power to snoop around.

In no time he should be able to contact a new trainee of RECORDz and juice information out of them.

Thus, on their way to their usual restaurant for lunch, Bambam didn't once lift his eyes from the tiny screen of his phone once, causing Yugyeom and Jinyoung to constantly give him questioning glances.

"Hey Bam?" Yugyeom asked upon arriving in their destination. "What're you working on?"

Bambam shushed him, furrowing his eyebrows, nodding at the message just given to him. He was getting somewhere. While a few of the people he had tried to talk to had ignored his message, a single account was actively engaging in a conversation with him. A few more quiet dings later, Bambam finally looked up to see his members staring at him expectantly.

"Is it Twitter?" The youngest asked.

Rolling his eyes, Bambam began. "Obviously I was on social media, but just because of that it doesn't mean that it's always twitter you ignorant buffoon."

Jinyoung snorted, eyes casting down to the menu when Yugyeom gave him a glare. Yugyeom then turned to Bambam, challenging him.

A few moments followed before the other huffed in defeat. "So what if I was on Twitter? At least I got to talk to a person from RECORDz."

Catching both of his member's attention, Bambam smiled sweetly.

This time Jinyoung raised the question. "Were you able to?"

Bambam gave a quick nod. "There's this kid in high school who I knew who auditioned and got in." Then, he turned to Yugyeom.

"You remember Jae?" He asked.

Yugyeom looked up in thought. "The weird one? The meme?"

Bambam snapped his fingers. "That's the one. He auditioned and apparently got in. He just told me to wait for a while before he comes back to talk more. "

Yugyeom chuckled, shaking his head. "He's too crazy online. And in real life to be honest. Especially when he starts speaking in English."

"Give him a break, he came from California."

Jinyoung's eyes darted between the two in front of him as they bickered about this 'Jae' kid. He gave the waiter their order because the others were showing no signs of stopping anytime soon.

The only time did they shut up was when the food came out.

Bambam's phone buzzed mid noodle slurp, causing the boy to choke as he jumped in anticipation. Washing the food down with water, Bambam read the message immediately replying.

**_Parkinmylane:_ **

**_What did u want 2 kno?_ **

(Bambam cringed slightly)

**_Dabbingeverydayeverynight:_ **

**_Nothing much, just about your PDnim. I heard some rumors and wanted a direct impression from someone in the co_ ** **_mpany_ **

**_Parkinmylane:_ **

**_Oh hahaha, yea I think I've heard those too. He seems sweet and funny overall. Chill dude. But he's kind of obsessed with the new debut person._ **

**_Oops, I shouldn't hav said dat_ **

**_Don't tell any1_ **

**_Dabbingeverydayeverynight:_ **

**_Hahaha, dw I won't_ **

**_Good luck with it all J_ **

Bambam didn't need to explain much. His members had already made their ways to read off of his shoulders.

"Obsessed with Youngjae?" Jinyoung read.

Yugyeom turned to give Jinyoung a look. "Still think this all is a coincidence?"

Jinyoung shook his head, his throat running dry.

"I'm starting to think that our PDnim was right to be afraid of this guy."

Bambam nodded, setting his phone down. "Let's eat lunch before we talk about all of this. I'm starving." And with that, Bambam scarfed down the noodles in front of him, causing an unpleasant sight.

Yugyeom stared at him in disgust, tossing a napkin to his face. Bambam took it, not even sparing him a look.

_Ding!_

Reflexing fast, Yugyeom unlocked Bambam's phone, almost puking at the message.

If Jae's other messages were cringe worthy, this one was the ultimate killer.

**_Parkinmylane:_ **

**_Tenks bro :-)_ **

"Oh no," He breathed out. "Someone teach this kid how to text."

~

Jinyoung was waiting outside of the studio. He was wearing a simple track jacket with a black shirt and black skinny jeans. A comfortable outfit for an upcoming comfortable day. He was waiting on Joo In Hyung for their next date at the nearby coffee shop. While the two may spends their nights together talking about nothing and everything in each other's arms, there was a complete different feeling in going on dates together. The atmosphere had a distinct, unique feel. There was a thrill to it.

In Hyung tapped Jinyoung's shoulders, alarming the other. Sharing a few chuckles, the two linked arms and strolled down the street for a decently sized walk.

The two of them were shaded by dark shades and large hats to conceal their identity. Sure, the world knew of their relationship. But the concept of privacy wasn't as universal. Thus, many idols had to take their own measures to ensure that they got the alone time they deserved.

As they were walking, sharing ear phones as some of In Hyung's favorite songs played through the buds, she brought up a question. "How's the Youngjae thing going?"

She knew. Jinyoung didn't have it in him to keep it from her. He had told her right away that night without missing a beat. In Hyung didn't cry or collapse in worry. She actively talked him through what happened, helping him but offering suggestions. Jinyoung had told her to stay out of the investigations since the danger level wasn't known. The girl tried her best to, engaging herself in any work she could do at the university or back in the cozy, worn down trailer she called her home.

She wanted to meet Youngjae badly. She wanted to see his face again and hear him sing for her like he did when he was with her. She wanted to hear that booming laughter of his that brightened the room.

But she was an awkward turtle.

She didn't know how to approach the young artist. Jinyoung wasn't helping either as he warned of the apparent striking difference in this Youngjae. In Hyung had pouted at that, giving the boy a silent treatment which ended up with a movie marathon to cheer her up.

Jinyoung promised her that he would make sure that she met him soon. "Once we figure out what is going on, I'll take him to you."

In Hyung hoped that she wouldn't have to wait long.

They were merely minutes away from the coffee shop when she glanced across the street to see a large banner hanging at the entrance to the park next to the complex where the coffee shop was located.

"Breaking the Limits of the Human Mind?" She read aloud as Jinyoung turned to see the sign as well.

"It is a conference?" He asked.

"In the park?" In Hyung pointed out.

Jinyoung squinted, leaning over to get a better look. The words were still too small, and quickly, after checking both sides, the duo walked across the road separating the sidewalks on either ends.

Jinyoung didn't know what he was expecting, but it wasn't this.

At the corner of the banner was the logo that unfortunately the GOT members had gotten used to seeing:

Sponsored by RECORDz

In Hyung voiced her concerns out loud. "What's a new company doing sponsoring studies? How do they have the money?"

An unsettling feeling fell in Jinyoung's gut.

Something wasn't right.

A group of friends suddenly walked out.

"Are they insane?" One yelled.

"Mind Reading? What are they thinking?!" The other continued as they walked.

A third voice was heard. "Just think about it. If you can read the mind, what else can't be done."

Jinyoung gulped, face pale.

Something was definitely very, very, very, very wrong.

~

Youngjae was given the freedom to roam around the building of the company, to acquaint himself with what was going to be, as the PDnim said, his "new second home".

There was already a gift shop.

There were already items in the gift shop.

Why was there a gift shop?

When he entered the section, he was greeted by a woman who explained that this company was coming back anew. There were still old items from years ago which they were hoping to sell in the clearance.

Upon hearing clearance, Youngjae asked whether he could go through the stuff. Maybe he could learn more of the company by knowing the previous people involved. Maybe he'd recognized some of them.

Well, there goes that mission. Either Youngjae was too young or he had terrible memory because none of the artists of the merchandise were ringing any bells in his head.

He was unable to remember or recognize anyone.

As he was fishing through the 'Toys' boxes in the room, Youngjae came across a certain doll that struck his attention. Again.

Strangely enough, the doll itself looked just like--"Mark?" Youngjae asked the doll. The style of the character was eerily similar, despite the fact that it was a totally different person.

The eyes were large as the furrowed eyebrows followed in suit. The doll was wearing a Snapback, golden chain with a classic tank.

All in all, Youngjae got a different vibe from the figure than what he got from Mark.

"You seem like a bluff King," he stated, examining the toy.

From the distance, Mark laughed at Youngjae's revelation, calling Jackson to come on over.

When the said King arrived, he was shocked to see the singer with his doll in his hands.

"Mark?" He asked, voice wavering. But Mark was too busy laughing.

Youngjae suddenly lifted Jackson's shirt up, a sense of curiosity running through him.

"Where are your abs?"

Mark was done by that point, as he was laughing so hard he was moved to tears. Meanwhile, Jackson gaped at Youngjae, trying to figure out what to say.

As he did so, heat began to radiate off of him, warming up the room.

Only to make matters worse, Youngjae began expressing his judgment through his facial expressions. 

"YAH CHOI YOUNGJAE, LOOK AT MY ABS!!!" Jackson yelled, pulling up his shirt. Sure enough, there were the toned muscles.

Yet, Youngjae couldn't see them. He continued making the faces, about to put the doll down.

When he did so, Jackson sent Mark a pleading look. Upon seeing the pathetic expression on his friend's face, Mark sighed, pointing at the now turning his back to the doll rack Youngjae.

An arrow pierced Youngjae's heart, making him spin around and rush to the doll and profess his love.

You see, after finding his doll, Mark's powers began to grow stronger, which soon came to his advantage (i.e. right that moment)

Youngjae twisted in his toes, a goofy, love struck smile on his face.

"Jackson! I lo--" Suddenly he died down, eyes casting downwards.

"love you." Youngjae whispered. "Love you, eh?" He asked no one but himself.

Astonished at his sudden confession, Youngjae stood there dazed, not sure what to do.

Why had he just confessed his love?

Why did he choose to use the word love?

"Jackson eh?" Youngjae said again, the sadness from his eyes drilling down into his words. On the other end, Jackson was directly in front of Youngjae, just etching to hug and give the deserved love his youngest friend needed.

Youngjae shook his head. What was with him and these dolls? Why did he feel so attached?

"Don't expect me to know what to do," He announced to the doll.

"Yah Youngjae-ah," Jackson stated, trying to saying something. It wouldn't matter. Youngjae wouldn't be able to hear it.

Still, Jackson tried.

When Youngjae held his figure once again, Jackson took a step, feeling the doubt in his friend. Youngjae didn't know what to do.

Jackson spoke in a small voice, not wanting to scare the fragile boy in front of him. He looked softly at Youngjae, observing for any signs of recognition of his presence in front of him.

There was none.

Still, Jackson tried.

"Take me home."

Jackson only said those three words before he proceeded backwards, finger crossed in hope that he had some effect in the situation.

Barely a few moments later, Youngjae whispered to the doll, "Okay." It was as if he could hear him, even though in reality Youngjae was agreeing with his gut rather than Jackson.

"Okay Jackson," He began, confident in his decision, as he walked towards the entrance. "I guess I'll take you too. Mark is getting lonely."

And with those words, the trance induced Youngjae left the gift shop.

Mark walked behind Jackson, patting his back reassuringly.

Jackson smiled slightly, leaning towards the older one for an embrace.

Everything was going to be okay.

~

That night Youngjae fell asleep easily again.

He was at peace when he had the two dolls next to him.

Yet that morning, Youngjae expected to see three dolls. Blaming it on the dreams, Youngjae ignored the feeling.

He had already found two dolls.

There was no way that there could be a third.


	10. 9

As the sun peeked through the cracks in In Hyung's blinds, the world all around began to move once again. Still in a sleepy daze, In Hyung made no effort to move from the comforts of her bed. The blankets were soft and warm, and her muscles weren't really listening to her constant commands to move and begin the busy day. Her heart wasn't in her intentions as she turned over, dropping her hand on the snooze button, keeping it there because it'd be too much unnecessary work to move it back to herself.

Sprawled out on her bed, the sun's rays eventually blinded her. Shading herself, In Hyung groaned, rolling off of her bed 'gracefully' with a loud _thud_.

She stood up after a few moments, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Rubbing her arm, In Hyung scanned her surroundings once before actually getting to work on preparing for the day.

She went through her routine: brushing her teeth, showering, dressing up, and eating her small, yet filling breakfast.

At last she was ready to leave, the one last thing to do being to pack her bag quickly.

She scurried to the other end of the trailer, where on the little sofa laid her navy blue strap bag in a manner as she had tossed it there without any second thought. Let's be honest, she did.

Stuffing her phone, charger, wallet and notebooks pertaining to the classes of that day, In Hyung checked off her mental list. She was trying to close her bag, which was unusually fat when she noticed the cause of a problem.

Peering inside, she gasped, dropping the bag.

A tuff of black, messy hair was popping out from beneath her papers.

In Hyung was given more of a shock when she took the doll out by single strand of hair.

She would recognize that blue and grey jacket worn by a character with slanted eyes, two eyebrow piercings, and a slight smile that could easily be mistaken as a smirk anywhere.

It was her Jaebum doll; the very one she had kept with her since childhood. The very doll that she had kissed not once, but a few more times when the doll was 'alive'.

"JB?" She whispered, brushing the hair out of the doll's face. Sighing with a smile, she looked at the figurine longingly for a few moments.

"I missed you," She continued to whisper, her words a sealed secret in the air.

Her phone suddenly rang loudly, throwing In Hyung off. She grabbed the phone, eyes popping out of her head when she saw the time.

"Crap!" She exclaimed, answering her classmate's call.

"Hello?... Yea I'm on my way currently" She answered curtly.

Shoving the doll in her bag without a second thought, In Hyung dashed out of her trailer house.

~

Youngjae sat at the desk, a blank black leather music notebook open in front of him with a pen grasped tightly in his right hand.

A song.

They expected Youngjae to write a song.

They expected Youngjae to compose a song.

Heck, Youngjae hardly remembered anything he knew of any instruments.

He was thankful for being able to learn his audition song so quickly on the piano.

However, he had no idea what the chords were that he played.

He just, _played_.

So when he sat at the stool on the piano, Youngjae blanked, staring at the keys as if they were asking for his head and not his hands.

Aligning his fingers with a group of keys, Youngjae pressed, wincing at the completely flat chord.

Shutting his eyes, he tried random combinations, praying that he'd be able to produce a sound somewhat hearable.

Surprisingly, Youngjae was able to do so on his third time. Smiling, he played around those certain keys, trying to play around the scale.

Soon, it was like second nature to him, and, feeling audacious enough, Youngjae lifted his left hand to work along with his right.

The two limbs merged their melodies beautifully.

Taking in a deep breath, Youngjae looked ahead at the blank music sheet, visualizing the notes, knowing exactly what he was playing.

Lost in the music, pent up emotions bubbled up Youngjae's throat, pushing to be released and heard.

Opening his mouth, Youngjae let out the breath he was holding in.

And he sang.

~

That day Youngjae successfully handed in his first song to the producer and PD waiting on him before his lunch break.

It was called "Forever Love", a deep, slow song about leaving and missing a loved one. Youngjae already was in love with it, treating it as his child as he gingerly handed the sheets over.

The promptness surprised them, and they shakily took the notebook.

 _How did he write the song so fast?_ They were wondering.

But Youngjae didn't give any attention to the looks that were given to him. He was too blissed from his accomplishment to even care what others thought of him at that moment.

In other words, Youngjae was quite proud of himself.

With the drive running through his veins, Youngjae decided that he'd train that day as well, even though it was his day off.

Meeting up with his trainer, Youngjae treated himself to a grand, hearty, yet healthy lunch. His trainer had watched him, amused, smiling at the brightness that surrounded the boy in front of him. The atmosphere Youngjae had brought to their sudden meeting was contagious.

It was warm, as if Youngjae was meant to be this way.

As if he were the offspring of the sun, that dawned on the Earth to expel of all the brightness from the world.

And the trainer hoped that no one would take it away.

Once done scarfing down the food, Youngjae wiped his mouth, laughing. He stood up, excusing himself to use the restroom.

As he skipped down the halls, he paused, eyeing the room in which his song was being judged.

A rock of curiosity settled in his gut as he inched closer to the door.

Pressing the ear to the entrance, Youngjae braced himself. He tried to humble himself in his mind by saying that they might not appreciate the emotions thrown into the lyrics. But his mind wasn't having any of the crap.

Faintly, Youngjae could hear the words being spoken.

"The boy has some serious talent," One voice spoke, and Youngjae smiled.

"The song has such meaning," a different voice commented. Suddenly, a chorus of compliments and discussion erupted, making Youngjae even happier than he already was.

"What do you think PDnim?"

The room fell silent, awaiting the approval.

"It won't work," PD-nim said, disappointing the entire room, breaking a piece of the boy's heart who was on the other side of the door.

"What do you mean? This is---" A person tried to reason, only to be interjected by the loud, booming voice.

"It's not going to work," The PD-nim spoke. "The _girls_ out there expect upbeat, cute or sexy music. They couldn't care less about Youngjae's pathetic sadness about missing someone."

"Isn't it about time we change up the music world?"

"Listen here," The PD nim spoke the frustrated words. "We need a successful debut. Not a flop. This _crap_ won't work. Do you understand?!"

The room remained silent, and Youngjae had to bite back his gasp. His heart was beating at strange beats, the words spoken in the room taking a while to sink in.

"So what do we do now?" The very first voice Youngjae had heard spoke.

"Just scrap the song. We'll have to write them for him then." The PD nim answered without any hesitation.

Outside, behind the closed doors, a lone tear rolled down Youngjae's cheeks.

~

Youngjae had sought refuge in the dark corner of that one cafe he'd always see on his way to the studio. The very one where he had bumped in the strange duo that he despised highly.

Youngjae had rushed his explanation for the sudden shutdown to his trainer. But upon seeing his pale, broken face, the trainer had frowned, letting him go with no other words besides a pat on the back.

And so Youngjae left.

The PDnim's words were on a constant loop in the back of his head. He couldn't shake the fact that his preppy, overly happy boss had talked so coldly of his heartfelt song. It was like Kwon couldn't have cared less about Youngjae.

Youngjae suddenly felt that their relationship was a lie. That he was being used.

Was he being used?

_"We need a successful debut. Not a flop. This crap won't work. Do you understand?!"_

The words burned in Youngjae's head. Frustrated, angry and exhausted, the small boy buried his head in his hands. His lip was quivering highly as he tried to hold in the tears.

But the memory of the worst statement said in that room only then pierced through his heart, causing him to bite his lip so hard, it bled.

_Just scrap the song._

Scrap.

Throw away.

Youngjae's song was worthless.

His feelings were meaningless.

Of course Youngjae should've known better. He should've remembered his place.

He was but a doll for his boss. His boss had promised him that he would shape Youngjae into the perfect idol.

_If that was the case, should Youngjae really feel bad?_

_Wasn't this for the best?_

The conflicting thoughts in his head brewed a tornado that drowned out the world around him.

By this point, Youngjae was silent, the tears slowly stopping as he turned lifeless once again.

He couldn't hear anything but those voices that were his own. It was like the warm, welcoming happiness that had engulfed him didn't even exist.

Youngjae was back to being, well, Youngjae.

And so he sat up, not even bothering to wipe his tears. Youngjae stared ahead.

A waitress arrived with his drink, her gaze lingering on him, debating whether she should offer her help or comfort.

But her thoughts were interrupted as another person entered the picture.

"I got him," A small girl from behind her spoke softly. The girl smiled at her reassuringly. Seeing the sincere look, the waitress nodded, walking back to her job.

In Hyung turned to Youngjae, wincing at the sight in front of her. Jinyoung wasn't wrong at all.

This wasn't the Youngjae that she knew.

Sighing, In Hyung placed her bag lightly on the seat in front of him, waiting to see if there was any reaction. Youngjae's line of sight didn't even change.

It only did when she sat down in front of him.

Youngjae stared at her, a small frown etching on his face.

"Hey," In Hyung started. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to even talk to the Youngjae in front of her. Her awkwardness was showing.

"Are you okay?" She asked sweetly. She mentally yelled at herself for the stupid question. Of course he wasn't okay.

Meanwhile, Youngjae was trying to focus on the girl's words. He was trying to wonder why she would care. What he didn't realize was that he had spoken his thoughts out loud.

In Hyung blinked. "Why shouldn't I?" She replied.

"I'm not worth it," He replied robotically.

The other took in a breath, shutting her eyes. She couldn't help but ask herself: When did it get this bad?

At that moment, her eyes shot open, the memory of her discovery of that morning replaying in her head. Looking at her bag, In Hyung fished for the doll.

"This is why you're here, isn't it?" She asked the Jaebum figure as if he could answer back. Little did she know, he most probably could, if he was present at the scene.

Youngjae's eyes drifted down to the doll in her hands. He moved slightly, leaning over to get a better look.

"Hyung?" The honorific term rolling off of his lips as with no hesitation.

In Hyung looked at him suddenly, the answer to her question confirmed.

"Hyung?" She asked, trying to make sure what she was heard was right.

Youngjae looked at her with sad eyes. "Jaebum hyung?" He asked himself, wondering how he knew the name.

In Hyung understood what she had to do. She handed over the doll, nodding when Youngjae looked at her as he reached for it.

"Take it," She explained in a ramble. "He was there for me when I went through a hard time in my life. H-he is the reason I am what I am now. And now I think he can help you. Take care of him, please? I promise, he'll take care of you."

Youngjae felt no doubt towards that last statement for some reason. He stared at the doll, remembering a foreign voice.

"Yah Youngjae, get up!" It scolded him.

"Thank you," Youngjae whispered. In Hyung genuinely smiled.

"Anytime Youngjae-ah. I'll be here whenever you need me," She said, before standing up to leave.

In Hyung left the café without a second thought, wanting to give the former guardian some alone time. She was glad that she could help him at least.

The air whistled.

"There you go JB," She spoke at the air. "I leave him to you."

While In Hyung was facing the street, right behind her, Jaebum stood, hands in his pockets as he looked at the café. Their backs were towards each other.

Jaebum let out a sad sigh, catching a faint glimpse of the younger member.

"Thanks In Hyung," He replied. "I've got him from here."

~

Jinyoung was strolling through inner roads behind his studio back to his dorm, trying to avoid the fan traffic.

All he wanted was a nice quiet stroll.

However, alas, the world was quiet cruel to him as always.

As he continued his brisk walk, he slowed down upon seeing a bright cheery man clad in a business suit make his way directly towards Jinyoung. In fact, this man was staring right at Jinyoung.

"I wouldn't have imagined that I'd be meeting one of the hottest male idols of Korea today. But here you are Junior," The man exclaimed in glee.

Jinyoung smiled, offering his hand out for a handshake. "The pleasure's all mine, uhhh..."

"Kwon," The man filled in, taking up the handshake. "Kwon Kwan."

Jinyoung's smile faltered as stared at the short man. _This_ was the head of RECORDz?

Seeing their interaction as a chance to dig for clues, Jinyoung readied himself, choosing to act dumb and curious for information.

"I'm sorry, but do I know you from somewhere?" He asked politely, ignoring the tight grip Kwon had on his hand.

Kwon smiled. "You may know me as the head of RECORDz. Say, you're under a contract with JYP right?"

The handshake turned into a vice grip and Jinyoung had some slight difficulty in keeping his composure.

"Yes, sir. Do you know him?" Jinyoung proceeded with the politeness.

Kwon laughed, letting go quickly of Jinyoung's hand. "Do I-Do I know him?! Of course, he was like a guardian to me."

Jinyoung's blood ran cold.

"G-guardian?" He repeated shakily. Kwon stopped laughing, smiling again, but this time with a quirk.

Jinyoung tried to read the other, only to be trapped in the intense stare he was being given.

"Aye a guardian. Say, you've heard of my new debut right?" He inquired quietly, as if their conversation was forbidden.

Jinyoung gulped and nodded.

Kwon smirked. "Aye yes. Such a sweet thing he is. Unfortunately, he's going to need a lot of work."

At this, Jinyoung frowned. "Work?"

Kwon sighed dramatically. "A lot of grooming. I would ask you to guide him, but alas your schedules are jam packed. I guess I'll have to deal with the poor kid myself."

Jinyoung didn't like this conversation anymore as it continued. "We would be glad to meet him," He interjected rather quickly with a loud tone.

Kwon looked away, thinking for a minute. "Does your boss work all the time?"

Jinyoung's frown deepened at the ignorance of his own remark. Before he could point it out, Kwon beat him yet again.

"Tell him to calm down and share the business," Kwon explained, looking around before whispering his last sentence. "It's better now before it's too late, you know what I mean?"

Once again, before Jinyoung could even think to bring up his own questions, he was shot down, this time, by the luck of the other's phone ringing.

"We shall meet again then!" Kwon greeted, once again back to his cheerful mood.

Jinyoung watched the small man walk away, debating whether he should follow or not. He would've if he hadn't been in the open, empty street with no crowd to block him.

Letting go of the idea, Jinyoung turned around to take the crowded way home, not in the mood for any other strange, eerie encounter.

One was enough for the day.

As he journeyed home, Jinyoung started to connect some pieces, still unable to see the big picture.

One thing was for sure.

This guy was definitely up to something.

The only question was **_what._**

 


	11. 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One note: I do not know how to trash talk intentionally. Or in any other way lol. I'm more salty than trashy. So I apologize for the horrible trashing done in the beginning. 
> 
> But plz push past it, this chapter is definitely one not to miss ;)

"Oh look, it's the pipsqueak," a snarky voice spoke from behind Youngjae. Rolling his eyes at the highly unoriginal insult, Youngjae didn't even throw a glance back.

He had been getting this petty treatment all day from a good amount of the trainees.

It was the first day that the trainees were actually going to begin their quote on quote "training". Youngjae, being the early, first to debut cadet, had obviously been called in earlier to begin and speed up his process by 10 times or even more.

News had gotten out around that Kwon had already chosen a debut. Youngjae was pretty sure that many were disappointed and frustrated as to the fact that they weren't given a chance to even further prove themselves. He understood, but couldn't relate.

For some reason, seeing that Youngjae was the chosen person had the trainees even more angered.

Thus, all day, the poor debut was forced to deal with the ridiculous remarks.

"Hey the wedding planners called, they're looking for their flower girl to come back." Youngjae scrunched his nose, the comment not even making sense.

 _Pretty sure he just embarrassed himself more than he embarrassed me_ , Youngjae thought.

They were making their way to the break room, where they would receive their first (not really a first for Youngjae) 'healthy' meal.

Sitting down quietly at a table in the end of the room, Youngjae patiently waited to be called up to receive his lunchbox. He dreaded the announcement, not really wanting to walk up past the hundred something pairs of beady eyes staring at him, trying to pinpoint his next fault as quickly as they could.

But Youngjae didn't have to stand up and put himself through that pain as, from an ignored door, his personal trainer snuck in, a small plastic baggie in his hands. Giving him a smile, his trainer handed him the lunch box, telling him to enjoy the little treat.

Youngjae was forever thankful. However, when he turned around to look at the wrapped food, he met gazes with the worst bully of the day, Sylar. This kid had been giving him the hardest time.

The two stared each other down as Youngjae tried to read the other's next move. Sylar smirked, giving his victim a bad feeling.

Youngjae turned to his trainer. "I don't need this. I'll just eat what they are having," he said, gesturing to the rest of the crowd.

His trainer shook his head. "No. This is special, made just for you. The others just have a basic diet changing one."

Youngjae looked away, trying not to be pushy about his decision, yet trying to get his point across. It only made things more awkward. "I'll cope."

The older man smiled softly. "Don't listen to the others. You've got more talent than any of them combined, so frankly, they shouldn't be talking."

"You really think so?"

"I know so." Giving Youngjae's hair a nice ruffle, the trainer laughed at his cliché statement. "Plus," He leaned in closer to whisper the secret. "It tastes 10 times better than any of that bull crap the others are having."

Letting out a laugh, Youngjae bid his trainer a goodbye. He turned around, only to let out a small shriek as the devil in the form of Sylar slammed his hand on the table right in front of him.

"Awwwe look. The baby is getting special treatment," The taller boy sneered. Youngjae frowned and looked away.

"Who has that, your boyfriend? Does lover boy here think he has a boyfriend?" One of Sylar's minions jabbed.

Youngjae scoffed. "Boyfriend? What the hell?!"

A third person joined the jolly party. "Don't deny it. We all know that you wrote a love struck song about him. Oh so sad." He continued, singing with a high pitched voice. "Oh I'm forever in your heart!"

Youngjae stilled, his heart beating loud against his chest. Those were his exact lyrics. Meaning that these guys had heard his song, his personal song. Someone had allowed them to hear of it.

Youngjae was not okay with that.

"Where did you hear that?" He asked coldly, glaring down at the third kid. Standing up, Youngjae clenched his fists, shaking all over as he tried to contain his rage in.

"Where." He gritted his teeth. "Did. You. Hear. That?"

Fear shimmered in the other's eyes as he began to back down. Youngjae pushed forward, now seeming to have the upper hand in the situation. However, Sylar pushed him back, meeting Youngjae's same expression.

"You really think you're all that?" The bigger boy snapped, now proceeding forward until Youngjae was trapped between him and his minions and the wall. "You're nothing at all. There are kids that can probably dance better than you, write better songs than you, and here _you_ are, walking around like a dainty princess in her kingdom."

Youngjae snorted. "Then why did PDnim choose me, and not you."

Sylar smirked, the answer immediately popping to his head. "He needs a doll for his new dollhouse now, doesn't he?"

~

Downing his fourth shot for the night, Youngjae doubled over, resting his warm, flushed face on the cold hard table.

An overwhelming sense to throw up overtook him, but Youngjae was too out of it to even stand up. Thankfully he didn't really have to throw anything up, however, that didn't stop him from feeling like absolute crap.

When Youngjae raised his hand for a fifth shot, the bartender gave him a worrying look.

"Are you sure buddy?" He asked.

Youngjae nodded quickly, pushing past the dizziness.

"I'm fine," He croaked. "I'm fine."

Shrugging, the bartender went ahead and poured him a shot, pushing it in front of him. Robotically, Youngjae grabbed at the glass, tipping his head back and waiting for the burning liquid to drip past his throat, leaving behind some scarring pain.

"I'm fine," he whispered, eyes shut.

He had hit is limit. The alcohol had overtaken his body, enhancing the wrong emotions, depressing the right ones. The day's events caught up to him, throwing him in a frenzy of nothing but depressing thoughts.

Youngjae accepted it all.

He believed what he was feeling was okay.

It was normal.

He believed what he was dealing with was what he deserved.

The others in the bar ignored him as he remained seated at that same seat, head in his hands.

Time ticked by and Youngjae sought his refuge in the loudness shouts and droning murmurs of the crowd. Here he was but a lost human being.

No one knew of him. He could just disappear right then and there and no one would notice.

No one would care.

 _Not that any would in general,_ he thought grimly.

Head barreling at speeds unknown, Youngjae decided that the flashing lights (and people) along with the pulsing loud booming beat that echoed throughout the small room had become too much for him. Grabbing a last beer, Youngjae paid the bartender with a decently sized tip. He stumbled out of the bar, going to wherever his feet would take him.

Shielded by the shadows of the night, the young singer somehow found his way around the nooks and crannies of the city to an empty area next to the bridge on the shore.

The moon lit the small waves in the river as the wind blew against the current, sending the cold, foggy mist towards Youngjae.

The boy took in a deep shaky breath to expel his emotions, to become a void of feelings, an empty vessel not willing to be filled.

Not yet.

He wasn't strong enough though. He wasn't strong enough to face the reality with a straight face.

"W-why?" He asked quietly, the concept of him being a doll forever haunting him. Youngjae felt helpless at the thought.

He had stupidly signed the contract, falling into the trap of the optimistic boss of his. He should've been more careful. He should've fought against the positivity to see the light in the lies.

It was all his fault, then, wasn't it?

Youngjae had brought this upon himself.

And now he had to suffer.

"Why me?" He continued to ask. "Out of all the people in the world, why me?!" He yelled at the water.

Silence.

And Youngjae knew the answer.

Feeling to sober despite his already wasted state, Youngjae popped the beer open, taking a large swig.

He drank the beverage like a pro, not waiting a bit while he gulped the entire bottle down.

Doubling over, he fell, bracing himself on his hands and knees.

His eyes watered. Whether it was due to the intense nausea he was feeling or his life in general, Youngjae couldn't figure it out.

Groaning, Youngjae spilled his guts out in front of him, the misery diseasing his entire body.

Taking a glance in the water, Youngjae saw the shaking reflection of his worn out, dark face. There was no feeling in the expression. His eyes were dead.

Youngjae had failed.

Youngjae had failed himself.

Letting out a tiny sob, Youngjae lost his composure, tears rolling down his cold, red cheeks.

"I'm sorry," He cried. "I'm so sorry."

~

The last thing Youngjae remembered was an empty shot glass.

It was actually the only image that he could recall in his brain of the night before.

Disoriented, Youngjae didn't really pay attention to the arm that was draped around his waist.

He didn't even notice the arm that he was clutching onto tightly as he used it as a pillow.

He didn't acknowledge the loud snoring that was echoing out of the room.

Groaning, Youngjae buried himself more into the blankets and embraces.

"Jae-ah," A stern voice spoke. "Stop moving."

Youngjae stilled, eyes rolling back as he bit the inside of his cheek to brace the pain. He obviously had had too much to drink last night.

"Sorry hyung," He whispered. A hum was heard as the arm around him pulled him back into the person behind him.

Sighing, Youngjae complied at the silent request, gratefully giving into the sleep that should come to ease his hang—

Hold up.

"What the—" Youngjae shot up, looking around his bed.

There, around him were three other men, all seeming to be older than him.

He first noticed the person snoring who was almost falling off of the bed. This person was clinging onto the blonde that Youngjae was holding onto as a headrest. Turning to his right, Youngjae saw the third man, breath caught in his throat as the man rubbed his eyes to rid of the sleep in his eyes.

"Ya what the hell are you doing Youngjae? It's too early," The man complained, sitting up, contradicting his request.

Youngjae began to enter a state of panic. He wanted to listen to the guy. He felt a strange pull towards the person, and all Youngjae wanted to do was rest in the other's arms for the rest of the day and do absolutely nothing.

He glanced at the others who were slowly entering the wake as well. He felt the same towards them.

The feeling was so strong.

Youngjae was so scared.

Why was he feeling this way?

Shooting up, Youngjae backed up into the wall, fearful eyes darting between the three of them.

"W-who are you?" He asked with a tremble in his voice. "I d-don't know you."

The boy on the absolute end suddenly fell, jolting awake. He observed the scene, trying to piece the puzzle together. Slowly, this said person made his way to Youngjae.

"Jackson, you're scaring him," The blonde suddenly warned. Youngjae looked over to stare at this man. 

"You don't recognize us?" This 'Jackson' asked, reattaining his attention. _Jackson_ , Youngjae thought. _Where have I heard that?_

The smaller boy shook his head, pushing himself more against the wall, willing for it to swallow him whole.

Jackson threw a worried glance at Youngjae's bag. It seemed empty. Strangely, Youngjae was sure something was missing. But what?

"Oh no," Jackson breathed, realizing what had happened. "Not again."

Before Youngjae could even ask what 'again' was, he dashed to the bathroom, bending over the toilet to vomit whatever possibly could be in his poor empty stomach.

Moaning, Youngjae held onto his head as he curled into a fetal position, as if it would help his horrible hangover. The throw up had burned his throat and Youngjae whimpered when he tried to swallow. 

The blonde suddenly came over with a glass of water in one hand. Fishing through the cabinet, he frowned, not able to find something. Setting down the glass, he left the bathroom with Youngjae in it.

Moments later, the blonde was feeding Youngjae an aspirin, making sure the latter was drinking the water carefully.

"C'mon," He urged, leading Youngjae to his own bed, laying him down there.

The other two soon came back with a small platter of breakfast, setting it down in front of Youngjae.

They sat through it all, making sure the younger would finish the small bowl of cereal and milk.

Youngjae looked at them questioningly, observing each and everyone one of them. They were so caring towards him, and although he felt that he knew them, he could not remember.

The 'Jackson' was quite eager whenever Youngjae would turn to him. He'd smile at him with a  smile that lit up the already bright room. It was contagious, and Youngjae smiled more and more everytime he turned to see the guy. 

The blonde was quite reserved. Youngjae could feel that vibe off of him. Regardless, the blonde was close and endearing to him, almost protective. He stayed by his side, giving him silly, cute expressions, feeding him when Youngjae would ignore his food for a few moments. 

The third, taller one that had been holding Youngjae was quite, how should Youngjae word this, possessive? 

No, that's not right. 

Friendly?

Closer, but not quite. Youngjae didn't know what he was. All he knew was the fact that his man was once again holding him in his arms as Youngjae fought through his condition with the help of his food and the two goofballs next to him. The hold was just right, and Youngjae was incredibly comfortable. 

Once again, Youngjae tried to ask about their identities, desperately wanting to know who these angels of his were. 

But the man that was holding onto him interjected, pulling him back into the bed.

"Rest Youngjae," He explained, reading the other's mind. "You can ask all the questions you want later. Just rest right now."

Youngjae hummed, smiling slightly as he shut his eyes, inviting the sleep to take him away.

The bed dipped as the other joined them. 

In no time, the snores were once again enveloping the room. Once again, Youngjae was given the security and comfort as he was surrounded by these guys. 

As he drifted off to sleep, Youngjae wished that these guys would remain by his side when he woke up. 

He wished that they wouldn't disappear. 

He wished that he wasn't dreaming. 

As strange as it was, their presense brought a sense of peace to the boy. They were strangers, but not in his heart. He didn't know them, but he did. 

With them by his side, Youngjae felt at place. 

Youngjae felt complete. 

 

 

 


	12. 11

****  
"Yah this kid really never hears his alarm," Jackson exclaimed, hitting the clock next to his head to silence the deafening, annoying sound.

It was past 20 times the alarm had cried out to awake the sleeping boy who was peacefully curled in his blankets, snoring away in dreamland.

"We should wake him up," Jaebum stated, moving to shake the younger one up.

Calling out his name, he pushed Youngjae into an upright position and rubbed his back to ease the smaller one into reality.

"Youngjae wake up now," He demanded, yet tone soft.

Youngjae finally gave a sign of life, groaning in frustration. "5 more minutes" He mumbled, words slurred, eyes half open.

"You're late for training Jae-ah," Mark called out, informing the other about his predicament. Youngjae blinked, the words taking a few moments to sink in.

Once they did, he jolted up, immediately looking at the time.

Crap. He was so late.

Meaning that he was so dead.

Sprinting to the bathroom, Youngjae multitasked such as brushing his teeth and hair at the same time to finish the minimal he could in like the 4 minutes he had.

Long story short, Youngjae had walked out of his room without a jacket, his phone or wallet and a missing sock. His hair was combed in 10 different ways while sleep was still glimmering in his eyes despite the time of the day.

It was almost like déjà vu to the day where he had to go for his audition.

Almost.

Standing at the door, real live in the 'real world', his three guardians watched him with amused expressions.

"We're going to have to bring him his stuff," Jackson stated, laughing out loud once Youngjae was out of earshot.

Jaebum and Mark chuckled, shaking their heads. It was so typical of Youngjae to wake up late and practically forget most of the important items he needed to take with himself.

Reentering the hotel room, the trio worked to fix up the place a bit, which wasn't much seeing that Youngjae barely did anything there besides sleep and shower.

Jaebum grumbled as he picked up the pile of pajamas on the floors. "This is why I tell him to put them away," He said, tossing the lump into the hamper.

In a few minutes, the said hamper was filled to the top, causing the hyungs to once again sigh at the laziness and untidiness.

After having hassled the issue of the clothes on the floor, Mark, Jackson and Jaebum plopped on the bed.

"So what do we do now?" Jackson asked.

Jaebum hummed. "We should go meet the boys."

"And give Youngjae his stuff," Mark added.

Jackson nodded, stretching.

"Well then, what are we waiting for?"

~

"I've officially lost my mind."

"We've known that Yugyeom, not really new news," Bambam replied in a monotonous tone. He was lounging on the couch, eyes closed, trying to catch up on his rest.

"Bam, I'm serious," Yugyeom said softly, standing up, eyes trained outside the window of their dorm. He was peering down at the park nearby.

Bambam finally opened his eyes, groaning in frustration when he saw the youngest standing up and walking away. "It was a joke Gyeom, seriously—"

"Shhh!" Yugyeom gestured the other boy to follow him, shaky fingers pointing directly at the lot where Bambam spent his days doing nothing.

The same park where they conducted their sessions with the guardians.

"Bambam, do those two guys look familiar?" Yugyeom asked shakily.

Bambam squinted, wondering how his friend was able to even tell who the people were. He couldn't see their faces clearly, just blonde and brown hair. Damn his vision.

Telling the other to wait for a minute, he dashed to Jinyoung's room, looking for binoculars. The eldest of the group was startled away from his book when the lanky lad barged into his room asking for binoculars.

With a questioning look, he handed them over. Bambam, still in the mindset of sleep, sluggishly said his thanks, taking a moment to stretch some energy into him.

Jinyoung frowned when he saw the tired boy walk away. Following Bambam, he crept up on the duo looking out of the window with binoculars.

Before he could scold the kids, he paused, realizing where they were staring at.

"Oh my god. I'm actually insane, someone help me," Yugyeom spoke, bringing down the binoculars.

Bambam eagerly snatched the pair, looking at the lot, a loud gasp escaping his lips.

Jinyoung's frown deepened, curiosity laced in his mind as he walked forward to take his belonging back and see just what was so surprising.

His eyes widened mouth agape.

This couldn't be happening. There was no way.

Taking another glance just to be sure, Jinyoung walked out to the balcony, as if it would improve his view.

It really didn't.

But honestly, there was no mistaking it.

The two boys standing on the lot were indeed Jaebum and Mark.

Sharing a look with his members, Jinyoung nodded, approving what they were all thinking.

Immediately they sprinted for their shoes and jackets, bee lining for the two boys.

~

Bright.

Everything was so bright.

Too bright.

Youngjae blinked, panting hard as he leaned on the mirror.

There was a weird feeling in his chest, a strange pain that brewed with the acid that was fighting its way up his throat.

His sweat was sticky, drenching him as he tried to support himself on his tired, buckling legs. As for his arms, he could barely lift them up.

When did it get this bad?

All Youngjae did was follow the exact instructions his trainer had given him about the workout they had done the day before. He was supposed to be able to handle this on his own as it was something he apparently expected to be accustomed to.

Youngjae followed all the steps, yet this time he was a crumpled, wet sheet of paper instead of the mildly aching person he was the time before.

What did he do wrong?

Turning slightly, Youngjae's blurry, distorted vision caught a glimpse of a messy pile on the desk in the corner of the room. It was a collection of unopened, cool, refreshing water bottles on display.

Water.

Youngjae mentally slapped himself.

How could he be so stupid?

He forgot to drink water.

Suddenly, his throat felt too dry. It hurt to move it or swallow. He tried to take in a large breath, only to choke on the little spit

His eyes watered as Youngjae tried to suppress the coughs.

It only made it worse.

Fighting past, Youngjae stumbled to the water bottles, grabbing for the closest one. Practically ripping the cap off, he drank the water in large gulps, finishing it off in merely seconds.

Sure, his throat was soothed and thirst quenched.

But was drinking that much water so suddenly the smartest decision he could've made?

Probably not.

Despite the relief he felt, Youngjae's vision began to become spotty as his balance shifted everywhere but where he wanted it to be.

Youngjae tried blinking the feeling away. Key word, he _tried_.

A wave of exhaustion and weakness overtook him as he tipped over, projected to fall headfirst on the floor.

"Youngjae!" A loud voice yelled. Loud sounds of running were heard before strong arms wrapped around his waist, picking him up and dragging him to rest on the nearby sofas.

"C'mon Jae," The voice pleaded, shaking Youngjae lightly in his lap. "C'mon, wake up."

It wasn't long before the unconscious trainee regained consciousness, moaning quietly at the pain in his body.

Vision focusing, he looked up to the see the worried face of the 'Jackson' from his room.

"Jackson?" He whispered. "Why are you here?"

Jackson proceeded with his actions first, checking Youngjae for a fever or any signs of sickness.

"I-I'm here to bring you your sock," He answered casually. 

"My sock?"

"And the rest of your stuff. Seriously Jae, you've got to remember these things," Jackson joke-scolded, reaching into his pocket to take out the wallet and phone.

And the sock.

Youngjae barked in laughter at the sight of the wrinkled sock, the sound lifting the mood of the workout room.

Jackson laughed as well, screaming when Youngjae hit him on his chest and the younger laughed even more at Jackson.

Giving his thanks for his sock, Youngjae tried to stand up to put on the item that his hyung had oh-so-generously brought for him.

Youngjae almost fell again, but Jackson was prepared, bracing him.

"What happened?" He asked, helping Youngjae in standing.

Youngjae shook his head. "You'll laugh at me. It's really stupid."

"Can't be dumber than the sock," Jackson pointed out.

"Hey!" Youngjae exclaimed, slapping Jackson again on the chest. The older yelled again, giving him a challenging look right after.

Youngjae happily slapped him again.

He then explained the situation, dragging his words while he looked away sheepishly in embarrassment. "I kind of forgot to drink water during my workout."

A moment passed before Jackson said anything.

"I take back what I saaaa—Don't hit me!"

"Don't laugh," Youngjae whined upon seeing the other's horrible attempt at keeping his laughter in. He slapped him again on the chest.

Jackson still laughed, leading them over to the couch to lounge together to allow Youngjae to regain his energy.

He suddenly requested to see the list of exercises for the day, trading a water bottle for it.

Youngjae thankfully and carefully drank it, staring at Jackson's face as he inspected the given list.

Mostly he saw the older nod at everything, his eyes quickly dashing across and down the paper.

"You need to take longer breaks," He said to Youngjae, attention still trained on the paper.

Youngjae blinked, cocking his head in confusion.

Jackson smiled at the cute sight, setting the paper down to explain.

"Your body won't be able to cope without longer breaks," He spoke with expertise like he knew just how much rest Youngjae's body actually needed. (He did.)

Youngjae would argue under normal conditions. However, seeing what he had experienced before, he leaned onto Jackson's shoulder, nodding in acknowledgement.

"How long?" He asked, genuinely concerned.

Jackson referred to the paper again, pointing out the bunches that should go together and explaining the reason for each break. He even suggested certain stretches to keep the body warm and to avoid sudden intervals between extreme work and rest.

By the end of the conversation, Jackson had practically changed up the whole routine.

But Youngjae didn't complain.

He went along with the flow, handing over his trust in Jackson's hands at the words of his heart.

The duo spent some more time doing absolutely nothing productive, playing some silly games or watching Jackson try to show off the strength he had managed to 'bluff' to Youngjae in their exchange. However, he was able to back up most of his words.

The moment was perfect.

Youngjae felt happy and loved.

Meanwhile, Jackson couldn't be happier as he was reunited with the other after months of finding and worry.

In whatever state, he had found him.

~

"This is some really good coffee Jinyoung," Jaebum complimented. "Thanks."

Mark hummed in agreement, mouthful with cookie and coffee.

Jinyoung laughed and thanked the man before taking a seat on the sofa in front of them.

"No offence, bu how are you here?" Yugyeom asked, seated next to Jinyoung and Bambam.

Mark and Jaebum shared a look before answering. "Well..." Jaebum began.

"We're sort of Youngjae's guardians now," Mark completed, setting down the empty cup.

GOT frowned, trying to understand the messed up situation.

"Guard him from what?"

"Himself," Jaebum replied with a sigh. "At least, that's what we can see for now. He's a wreck."

"So is he boss," Jinyoung whispered to himself, deep in thought. Yugyeom turned to him wide eyed.

"You met his boss?"

 _Crap_ , Jinyoung thought, looking at Mark and Jaebum who were listening intently.

"Youngjae's boss?" Jaebum asked, a hint of worry laced in his voice.

Jinyoung turned once again to the youngers next to him, a lump in his throat. Both were looking at him for confirmation.

It wasn't like they weren't going to find out. They weren't dumb. Jinyoung knew it would come to the point where they'd have to spill.

Then why not now?

Giving his members a small nod, he directed his attention to the two lost guardians in front of him.

"Youngjae is signed to RECORDz," Jinyoung began his storytelling. "And the man in charge is Kwon Kwan."

And thus the tale continued until Jinyoung relayed his experience with the boss for the first time.

All of their expressions were blank, the grim reality sinking in.

"We'll get through this," Bambam tried to reassure.

Mark smiled slightly. "Yea, we're all together now right? We can do anything."

The small smiles right then spoke another tale.

They were together.

One way or another.

And that's all that mattered anyways.

 


	13. 12

 

Jackson and Youngjae had come barreling into the hotel room that night, laughing crazily. Nobody was in the deserted room to greet them. While Jackson was left in wonder as to where the other two were, Youngjae couldn't care less, a large yawn escaping his lips.

Stretching, the younger plopped on the bed, humming at the softness of the sheets.

Upon noticing that Youngjae was about to drift into slumber, Jackson shook him awake, telling him to change and freshen up for bed.

"I don't wanna!" Youngjae whined into his pillow, attempting to kick away the other. Jackson shook his head, dragging Youngjae by his legs off of the bed.

Falling with an 'oompfh', the tired singer puffed in frustration, getting up with difficulty as his worn out, sluggish body moved to the bathroom to allow him to brush his teeth.

"Where are my pajamas?" He asked rubbing his eyes, looking like a little child with his extremely messy hair and puffy hair.

Gesturing him to wait, Jackson stood up to retrieve the basket in the corner of the room. Fishing for anything that smelled the most clean, Jackson found baggy black pants with a maroon sweater. Immediately, he tossed it to the dozing off Youngjae.

Yelping, Youngjae jumped at the throw. He leaned forward to grab the clothes and put them on, stripping quickly in the process. As he did so, Jackson frowned upon a certain observation.

Youngjae was thin.

Quite thin.

Jackson suddenly worried about Youngjae's health, recalling the horribly organized exercise list he had to edit.

If that was so bad, what were they feeding Youngjae then?

But Jackson knew he couldn't question it right at that moment. Pushing it to the back of his mind, he took off his shirt to wear a tank top in its place. Settling with the shorts he had on then, Jackson jumped in the bed next to the half-asleep Youngjae.

Feeling the warmth, Youngjae instinctively moved to hug the older, smiling as he nuzzled his head on Jackson's shoulder.

The other two didn't come in until later, only to be met with the sleeping duo already in bed.

They tried to avoid waking anyone of the dreamers up, but with no avail.

"What took you so long?" Jackson asked groggily, reaching to thread his fingers in Youngjae's hair.

Jaebum and Mark quickly joined the cuddle, answering the question truthfully, restating the stories that had been exchanged.

"How about you?" Mark asked.

Jackson sighed. "Good thing I arrived when I did. Youngjae was about to pass out, and you wouldn't believe how disorganized and poorly managed his routine is. He was bound to break. Not to mention the dumb idiot didn't drink water."

"Water?" Jaebum asked, chuckling slightly at his dongsaeng's forgetfulness.

Jackson nodded. "Yes water. I had to change his workout from start to finish." Looking down at Youngjae, he paused. "He's thin. Too thin. If his routine was crap, then one can..."

"...imagine his diet," Mark finished, leaning back, closing his eyes.

Jaebum nodded, following the oldest's actions.

"I'll stay with him tomorrow," Mark suddenly spoke quietly. The other two didn't argue, agreeing with the decision.

Yawning, Jaebum flicked the small lamp at the side of the bed off.

And they slept.

~

Jackson hid behind the dumpster located behind the building, peering over the corner. In his earpiece, Yugyeom's voice cracked due to the piercing static, causing Jackson to wince.

"Okay Jackson, the doors will open soon. When you hear the click, you are in," he stated.

Jackson's gaze zeroed in on the back door.

_Click_

He ran quickly, slipping in with ease.

"Okay, now hyung, take a right and go up the stairs," Bambam instructed.

Following the orders, Jackson found himself on the second floor. Vaguely he could hear the rowdy trainees down the hall.

It was break time.

Just like they predicted.

"I'm in," He said. "I'll tune in in a bit."

"Just make sure to leave in exactly 34 minutes," Yugyeom warned. "The teacher will be back by then."

"Sure thing." And with that he removed his earpiece, carefully putting it in his pocket.

He slowly walked in, hiding in the crowd, looking around for the description of the Jae kid Bambam was talking about.

Meanwhile, behind the scenes, Yugyeom and Bambam were peering over a college student's shoulder as he monitored the building through the hacked cameras.

"Thanks again Namjoon," Bambam said, stretching up.

Namjoon laughed, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "It's no problem really. As long as it's not to sabot—"

"It's not," Yugyeom interjected quickly. "We wouldn't do that."

"I can tell," Namjoon replied, clicking away on the keyboard.

 _"Hey_ _Bam, I couldn't find that Jae kid but_ _these kids are wandering around_ _so_ _I'm following them."_ Jackson reported.

Yugyeom beeped the affirmative, looking for Jackson's figure in the security cameras.

Sure enough, behind a large group of kids was the shortish man himself, clad in the shorts, tank top and snapback.

The three of them waited, following Jackson around through the video playback.

Suddenly the group of kids stopped at a single door in the middle of the wall, jiggling the handle.

On the top was a warning sign: AUTHORIZED PERSONEL ONLY

None of the trainee's IDs worked.

Bored, the group turned around, leaving for the dance room.

Pressing himself against the wall, Jackson waited to be unnoticed. As soon as the crowd was out of sight, he tuned into his radio.

_"Any idea what is here?"_

Namjoon sat up, comparing the cameras with a blueprint.

"That's strange. It's not on the drawings."

Bambam and Yugyeom shared a look.

Namjoon's fingers began to quickly type out codes, various windows popping up on his screen.

He frowned at the scream, tensing up as his typing got faster.

"What's wrong?"

Namjoon clicked his tongue. "There's a heavy firewall for the room."

"Rooms have firewalls?"

"No. Not normal ones," Namjoon answered sharply. "There's actually multiple firewalls meaning that—"

 _"There's something hiding in there."_ Jackson's voice chimed in. _"There's no key or anything though."_

"Jackson, don't try to open it. It's heavily guarded," Namjoon warned clearly. "It's probably sensor activated with an ID or handprint. At least that's what this code looks like."

Bambam added on. "So it would right to assume that whatever's in that room, is suspicious right?"

Namjoon nodded grimly, switching back to the camera tab. He rewinded the feedback until he saw what he was looking for. "Highly suspicious. Look at this."

The blonde haired man rolled his chair back, presenting the screen in front of him, watching the past unfold.

There on the screen was the playback of the boss, Kwon, entering the room, a frown on his face, clearly distressed. Fast forwarding a few hours later, three of them saw the same person walk out, yelling out loud.

Yugyeom leaned forward, activating the volume.

_"I paid them almost all of the savings I have left not to have the empty results! We are running on a schedule god damnit!"_

_"Sir!" A young lad, seeming like an assistant, ran out. "They said that if only—"_

_"They've had enough time. He's already here. It could be any day now. Do you understand?" Kwon glared down the other lad, despite the fault being of those people on the other side of the door._

_Shaking in fear, the boy gulped. "Y-yes sir. I-I tell that t-to them." With that the boy sprinted back in with the swipe of his card._

_Kwon sighed in annoyance. Whipping out his handkerchief, he wiped the stress sweat from his forehead before taking his leave._

"He's here?" Yugyeom repeated in a whisper. Who was he?

Namjoon hesitantly scanned the worried and confused faces on the performers, slumping back, tired.

All of this seemed to have drained them of their lively energy. Not to mention, the blonde couldn't even fathom the schedule the busy idols had. It was amazing as to how they were still standing.

He took the lead. "Let's get Jackson out and regroup here. We'll discuss all of this then."

The kids nodded.

"Thanks hyung," Yugyeom spoke, the sincerity evident in his words. "Means a lot."

Namjoon waved it off playfully. "Anytime."

~

"You waited for me?!" Youngjae asked, shocked.

Mark jolted up at the sudden high pitch, falling ever so gracefully on his butt. Sheepishly he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment, shooting Youngjae a small smile.

"Yea," He answered, taking the other's hand as support to hand up. "It wasn't that long."

Youngjae's eyes widened. "I was there for three hours."

Mark silently agreed, the pain in his neck from his uncomfortable sleeping position starting to become annoying.

"I caught up on some sleep."

Mark knew Youngjae wasn't falling for it easily as he saw the wary look on the younger's face.

He tried to avoid the topic. "How was the training?"

Youngjae groaned, suddenly falling into the chair that Mark was previously asleep in.

"Why do I have to dance?" He whined, a pout on his lips. "It's so hard!"

Mark laughed. "What did you expect?"

Youngjae gave him the meanest glare he could muster. Mark laughed even more at the sad attempt of 'toughness' from the exhausted 'dancer'.

"Are you good for the day?" Mark questioned, gathering their belongings.

Youngjae shook his head with a heavy sigh. "Just for the morning. I have vocals and dance again in the afternoon."

Throwing his arm around Youngjae's shoulder, Mark led them out of the building and down the street. "As much time as we have, let's spend it wisely," He stated brightly. Youngjae smiled.

"Sure hyung."

~

The two just strolled down the streets, the silence between them just right. It was comfortable and calming for Youngjae, having to be in a presence with someone he didn't need to speak to convey his thoughts. Mark was very observant, and by just his actions, the older man knew what Youngjae was thinking.

They had passed by a small pet shop on their small trip, where Youngjae had caught a glimpse of a small white fur puppy in the glass. Mark halted, following Youngjae's gaze.

"I'm allergic to cats," Youngjae said sadly, making it obvious that he wanted to go into the shop.

Mark patted the pouty boy's back. He leaned forward, squinting, to see the label in the glass. "Her name is Heart."

Youngjae's nose crinkled in disapproval. "She looks more like a Coco."

Before Mark could even inquire as to what a 'Coco' was supposed to look like, the small puppy yelped, jumping up, looking at the duo in the window.

Youngjae's face brightened like the sun.

"She likes you," Mark chuckled at the younger's eagerness.

Youngjae pressed his face to the glass, making silly faces at the pup.

The scene brought Mark back to the past when he'd just lie down with Youngjae, listening to him babble on and on about the littlest things with immense excitement. Mark was reminded of the never tired Youngjae whom he has come to adore as a younger brother. This was the same kid, and Mark genuinely smiled, embracing the moment.

"Someday," Youngjae to say, words muffled by his face being squished up against the cool glass. "I'll be back soon."

Shaking his head, Mark looked away.

 _So_ _on huh_ , he thought.

"Mark hyung! She likes you too!" Youngjae squealed happily.

Back in reality, Mark laughed. "Really?"

The little sunshine nodded, pointing at 'Coco' who was looking at their way, tail wagging quickly. She was ready to play, knowing that the two outside were focused on her.

 _Someday_ , Mark agreed. _Definitely someday_.

All of the bull crap will be over soon.

And then they'd be able to live once again, happily and worry free, as they did a few months ago.

 


	14. 13

********  
Jaebum had woken up extremely early that day, unable to fall back asleep. He wasn't thinking, but the gears in his mind were turning, but not specifically. Rolling off of the bed, Jaebum yawned, stretching out a bit.

The sun was barely creaking out from the corners of the world when Jaebum looked outside the creaked blinds of the window.

There was no way he was sleeping anytime soon.

Quietly, he moved around, adjusting the blankets around his friends before tip-toeing towards the door. He mindlessly grabbed at a jacket nearby, turning the knob and stepping out of the safe, warm haven that was their room.

He walked, step by step, up the stairs towards the rooftop, slowly slipping the jacket around himself.

A dull thud was heard and Jaebum halted, turning around to see what he had dropped.

A small, lone black leather journal with the strap neatly and tightly secured lay at the bottom of his feet. A small blue pen could be seen peeking from the top of a page.

Picking it up, Jaebum looked at it curiously, wondering who the owner was. He pushed the feelings aside, jogging to the top of the building.

The cold air hit him as soon as he pushed the door open. The wind blew softly, a hint of a whistle in the breeze.

Jaebum took in a deep breath, feeling the freshness of the air in his blood, calming him down.

He sat comfortably, leaning against the ledge on the side.

Jaebum took out the strange book, examining its appearance. While the feel beneath his fingers gave away the sign that it was quite used, at first sight one could be fooled that it was brand new.

Prying the magnetic clasp of the book open, Jaebum turned the cover, only to see the small handwriting on the very front page:

_Property of Choi Youngjae_

And suddenly it clicked. The jacket he was wearing belonged to Youngjae. At that moment, the jacket began to feel a bit small and Jaebum wondered how he could miss the trivial detail.

Shaking it off, he spread the puffy jacket around his shoulders, the clothing now seeming large and enveloping.

Jaebum held the journal, a battle arising within him. As much as he wanted to read the journal, he was unable to bring himself to invade the privacy of his younger friend.

Letting out a sigh, Jaebum leaned his head back against the concrete edge, shutting his eyes.

Lost in the unknown uneasiness in his head, he didn't hear the door open. He didn't hear the light footsteps (not that they were meant to be heard) that approached him.

"Hyung? What are you doing up here?" Youngjae asked sleepily.

"Nothing. Just couldn't sleep," Jaebum answered, internally laughing at the zombie like Youngjae in front of him. The poor kid was barely able to keep his eyes open, let alone hear his answer.

Youngjae shivered slightly, scurrying over to Jaebum, lifting the older man's arm to curl into the man, exploiting him of his heat.

Jaebum sighed contently when he felt Youngjae hold onto him tightly, shifting the puffy jacket around him to accommodate the now cuddling duo. Youngjae moved even closer, practically in Jaebum's lap.

The two remained in that position for minutes, unmoving, just relaxed. Finally, Jaebum felt at peace, eyelids heavy.

"You can look at it, you know?" Youngjae stared at the forgotten journal.

"Are you sure?"

Youngjae shrugged, looking away. "They're just crappy songs I wrote for the company."

Jaebum shook his head, rubbing Youngjae's arm reassuringly. "I highly doubt that."

"Yea, well everyone else hates them." The younger sounded bitter, yet broken. Disappointed almost, but whether it was towards himself or the others Jaebum could not tell.

Jaebum raised his brows, reaching for the book. Asking for approval one last time, the brunette turned the page, bracing for what was to come.

The first page had lyrics and notes written neatly, without any scribble or crossing out.

He didn't need to read the title to realize what the song was.

It was their song, "­­­Forever Love". He remembered the day clearly, him finding Youngjae humming a song and suddenly Jaebum himself had begun to sing words, startling both of them.

With smiles they worked on the song together, throwing random lyrics here and there until it was a musical masterpiece.

Jaebum felt relief at reading the familiar words. Maybe Youngjae wasn't so gone after all.

But then the other lyrics of the rest of the songs in the book began to reveal the worse. He was not okay, the melodies reflecting Youngjae's mental instability, the loneliness, the self-loathe, the darkened thoughts that lived inside his head. The very monsters Jaebum knew he had to fight. They had to fight. Together.

Youngjae turned to Jaebum, staring at the man reading through the rest of his songs after lingering on the one on the first page. The smaller's eyesight fell on the silver circular amulet that lay on Jaebum's chest. Strangely it looked like the one he had, the only difference being that there was a tiny, lone snowflake instead.

A sharp pain rushed through his head, causing Youngjae to wince. The view in front of him brightened, throwing him into a different, bright, golden realm.

Youngjae gasped, looking around, stopping when he saw Jaebum and him sitting on the ground in front of him. Was that possible?

_Youngjae laughed loudly, avoiding Jaebum's attack. "It all makes sense now! You have ice because you have a cold heart!" He sing-songed, running around the present Youngjae, trying to get away from the man chasing him._

_Jaebum laughed along, jumping to tackle Youngjae down, holding him in a hold that could vaguely be compared to be similar to a death grip. "I'll show you what a cold heart I have!" He yelled, tickling Youngjae's sides._

The room began to brighten again. The last thing to be heard was the flashback Youngjae's piercing scream and laughter as he unsuccessfully tried to evade the attacks.

"Youngjae?" Jaebum shook the boy who seemed to be zoned out, particularly looking at his necklace.

A chuckle was heard. "Ice for a cold heart."

Jaebum froze, not believing what he heard.

"Ice for a cold heart," Youngjae said blatantly, pointing at the charm.

Jaebum smiled, holding the boy tighter.

"It's not as cold as you'd think," He answered, giving Youngjae a slight nudge. "C'mon, let's go back inside, it's cold."

Youngjae chuckled, groggily leaning on Jaebum for support as the two made their way back towards the warmth and comfort of their room.

~

"He's been hanging out with three boys sir," The trainee reported, head bowed down.

The boss's dark, mean eyes bore into his skull, jaw clenched as he processed the information.

"Who?" He inquired, his cold voice sending shivers down the small, scared trainee's spine.

"N-not sure. They're not from a-around here."

Kwon didn't reply, gaze moving to the calendar.

"Boss, I ca—"

"Get out," Kwon demanded. "You've done your work."

The trainee gulped, nodding. He then dashed quickly out the door with no intent to come back in anytime soon.

Kwon sighed, pressing a button on his phone to page his team members.

"Get in the meeting room," He commanded, his voice dark. "It's time."

~

Youngjae was hiding behind Mark as the three boys were standing at a park in front of the members of GOT.

Mark was frowning, looking between Youngjae and the two maknaes who were looking away sheepishly.

"You okay?" The oldest asked, trying to usher the hidden lad forward. He wasn't sure whether Youngjae was scared, annoyed or mad. The expression the boy wore was quite strange.

"The stick keeps running into me and the curtain hair is creepy," Youngjae whispered rather loudly, returning back to his hiding place.

Jinyoung sighed loudly, slapping his forehead in exhaustion.

Meanwhile Jaebum had to elbow Jackson to keep his laughter in, himself having some hard time to do so.

Mark nodded, walking forward. Youngjae whined, running after the older man who suddenly stepped out of his way, causing the brunette to run into the, quote, "stick".

That was it.

Jackson and Jaebum cracked in laughter, holding onto to each for support while Jinyoung shook his head at the scene, pushing the smirking Mark away.

Yugyeom was backing away, afraid he was next.

"Youngjae," Jaebum stepped forward to stop the boy who was about to launch into an attack. "These three don't mean any harm."

"Yeah. They're our f-r-i-e-n-d-s," Jackson spelled out slowly, face red from laughing.

Youngjae looked back at Bambam who was trying to catch his breath.

"Y-yea, friends," The 'stick' croaked out weakly before falling against the 'curtain' causing them to fall over.

This time Youngjae let out a small laugh, quickly trying to cover it up with anger. He wasn't going to give in that easily.

Jinyoung offered his hand, hauling the boy up.

"I'm sorry for their idiocrasy. It's incurable." His voice was monotone but he was smiling.

Youngjae let out the laugh, the rest joining in. Very much against his attempts to remain annoyed, he suddenly warmed up to the annoying duo and their, as Jinyoung put it, 'mom'.

And the rest of the time, the boys played around, no one touching the subject of guardians or of that sort.

They were enjoying themselves, Youngjae especially, liking the feeling of déjà vu.

He thought that it meant that his memories would come back, hopefully allowing him to remember his friends around him and keep and add onto the new.

He was having so much fun that he didn't realize that a long, black limousine had pulled up, revealing none other than his boss.

"Hello boys," The sudden voice broke the bubble around the boys, everyone falling silent all at once.

"Mr. Kwon?" Youngjae said, voice quiet. "I-I thought I was on break for the da—"

"You are," Kwon interjected, a smirk on his face as he inspected the glaring faces of everyone else. "I just thought I'd pay a visit to see you and, well, your friends." He gestured around.

Youngjae looked around hesistantly, not sure as to why his boss would need to do that. "Oh, well, I cou—"

"I also have some news. Great news," Kwon interrupted once again.

"What news?" Jaebum asked in his leader voice. His face was stone cold.

Kwon looked at the man up and down, sizing him up. He hummed. "Well, Youngjae, my sweet boy. You've been working very hard. We have decided that you must debut in early January."

Youngjae's heart stopped for a moment, eyes growing wide. January was just days away.

The rest of the boys shared worried looks. Jinyoung began to stand up to face the man with his logical questions. He was going to finally get some answers.

"Youngjae, you need to understand and get in the car. We made this urgent decision for you and this company," Kwon reasoned with a fake, caring tone.

Jackson held Youngjae back. "How do we know that we can trust you?" The rest of the boys tensed up, ready to defend at any moment.

Kwon sighed sadly. "Why would I harm the future big thing of the music industry?"

Youngjae looked at Jackson, reassuring the older man that he'll be fine and back at night.

Jackson reluctantly let the anxious boy go, knowing that there was nothing he could do to stop him otherwise.

And so Youngjae walked along with his boss, stepping into the limo.

He gave one last look from the open window, smiling a smile that was obviously fake, giving away that the he was scared and nervous on the inside.

The tinted windows rolled up and the limo drove away.

"It's too fast and early," Jinyoung spoke their thoughts.

Jaebum was still glaring at the spot Kwon was standing.

He knew the others wanted to do something, have some answers to this nonsense. Heck, so did he.

But to get those answers, the six of them would have to do something they were highly unwilling to do, something that presented high risks, something that was inevitable in their situation:

They would have to wait.

 


	15. special 13.5

********  
Youngjae hadn't realized that stepping into that limousine would have caused him to throw away everything to work nonstop for the debut.

His schedule was jam packed, there was no time to even think. He'd arrive late at night, stumbling into the bed with no word and leave the next morning, still dreaming of sleep.

Whenever he'd try to step back and request for a quick break to talk to his friends, just anything, another crew member would come stumbling in, dragging him to another end of the city.

So far he had recorded the songs of his first mini album, all 6 in the span of 54 hours. His voice was scratchy and weak and his throat would pain every time he'd try to speak. Thus, the doctor put him for vocal rest for the next few days, claiming that there was no room for any risks.

Silently, Youngjae followed everyone around, beginning to fall sick of the constant pushing around.

He was annoyed that he was so easily ripped away from the fun he was finally having with the six dorky boys who had made him laugh for hours.

Then, one night, his trainer cautiously approached him, sitting him down to give him some news.

"I know you have your music video taping and photoshoot tomorrow," He started. "I asked the boss to allow you to bring your friends if you want to. You've been going through a lot and, I mean, they could help you out and support you, you know?"

Youngjae smiled genuinely, thanking his trainer, the very man who had put him through a five day hell , sorry "boot camp", to learn the choreography of his new song.

And that's how the young boy ended up on a nice, black rolly chair with three hyungs surrounding him as he got dolled up. While Mark sat next to him quietly, Jackson was jumping up and down excitedly, looking around the set, commenting about practically everything.

"What's your concept?" Jackson asked curiously.

Youngjae smiled the best could while his stylist was packing his face with makeup.

"I'm going to be a clumsy guy who's _trying_ to flirt with a girl," He replied with a small chuckle.

"Shouldn't be too hard for you then," Jaebum teased from behind him, earning a loud laugh from Jackson and a tiny snicker from Mark.

Youngjae sighed, rolling his eyes. He couldn't really deny with that. The role was almost perfect for him, seeing that he was highly capable of being the most awkward bean on the planet. (a/n: I could rival that)

The last steps before shooting his scenes at a café and around a small town of him mindlessly following this girl included him changing into his outfit and a quick reminder of the actions he was supposed to take.

In midst of it all, Jackson had suddenly stopped him before he walked on set, asking a question that had him confused and pensive during the first half of the shooting.

_"What are you going to name your fandom?"_

The inquiry innocently rung through his head, leaving him with an expression of lost thought and confusion left on his face.

The producers loved it, thinking that he was earnestly trying to produce the emotion.

In reality he was torn. He wanted to give the fans (the few) a name with meaning, something that would stick unique to him.

GOT had iGOTs, a clever and cute name, suitable for the three members and the fandom.

Youngjae opened his lunch, still in thought, sitting underneath a tree. Realizing that he had forgotten his chopsticks, he quickly sprung up, bumping into another person, sending the two of them falling against the tree.

The taller man braced himself with one arm next to the left side of Youngjae's head and the other arm catching Youngjae, saving him from the fall.

Youngjae's breath was caught in his throat as he looked up to meet the very chocolate eyes of none other than his oh-so beloved Jaebum hyung.

For what felt like hours, the two of them didn't dare to move away from the proximity that they were in. Youngjae could practically feel Jaebum's warm breath against his soft lips, leaving his mouth dry.

While Jaebum's gaze dropped a few times to his lips, Youngjae was caught, not breathing, staring at the handsome man in front of him, unable to break his gaze away.

He was in a trance.

And then, he felt Jaebum shift, and Youngjae was pretty sure that Jaebum had moved a bit closer, which was really impossible because if he did that they would be kis—

"H-hyung?" He mustered all the courage and willpower he had in him to ask. His voice was small and broken, his throat extremely dry. "W-what are we doing?"

Youngjae was so small compared to Jaebum, and in that moment, the difference was clearly apparent. He was staring up with wide eyes, slightly at unease, but not fighting back.

Jaebum opened his mouth to answer, his words caught in the back of his head, not knowing what to say.

What _were_ they doing?

"I don't know," He whispered in defeat. "I-I don't know..." With that he hesitantly let go of Youngjae's waist, making sure that the boy was stable on his own feet before separating away completely and shakily, making his quick retreat.

Meanwhile, Youngjae finally let out the breath he was holding, sliding down against the tree, lunch and chopsticks forgotten.

He was breathing hard.

He could feel his heartbeat in his head.

He was pretty sure that his face was as red as a freshly bloomed poppy flower.

Shutting his eyes, he tried to avert his attention from the intimate moment, trying to focus on his surroundings, begging for any possible distraction.

A flap of wings was heard and Youngjae cracked his eyes open, looking above him as he saw a tiny, blue bird struggle its way through the air towards the ground. The poor thing wasn't able to take flight, dropping slowly but surely.

Letting out a gasp, Youngjae immediately held out his hand for the baby to perch on.

When the baby bird did so, he smiled, bringing it closer, allowing it to observe him, judge him.

The bird chirped, pecking his fingers softly in approval.

Youngjae stared at the blue bird adoringly, watching it jerk its head around, looking at the ground level as if it were a total world new. The bird was lost and scared. But it was staying strong, with the support of its new friend, Youngjae.

And Youngjae couldn't help but connect to the small creature, seeing himself in it and his friends in him.

He was the bird and his friends him.

They were his anchor, supporting him with no second thought as Youngjae had done so for the bird.

Then the bird chirped, looking up at its nest.

Youngjae followed its line of sight, seeing his other siblings flying around.

He sighed, knowing exactly what to do.

He stood up, cupping the baby bird in his hands, giving it a little push into the air, staying close by to catch it if it failed to soar in the air again.

But this time, the little thing took off with a few flaps, circling Youngjae with glee before heading off back into the air.

Youngjae smiled brightly, laughing in happiness at the sight.

He could do this.

He had his little push with him.

The strange, intimate session was then long forgotten, as his troubles from the earlier that day were resolved in a split decision.

"Youngjae-ssi!" Someone from the crew called out, signaling that his break was over.

Youngjae gave one last look at the happy bird before running towards his calling.

Jackson was waiting for him expectedly.

"Have you thought about it?" He asked, draping his arm around the younger's shoulders.

Youngjae nodded.

"Ahgase," He replied confidently. "They'll be my ahgases."

Jackson grinned. "I think it's perfect."

And if he tried hard enough, throughout the remainderof that day, Youngjae was sure he could hear the faint, bright chirps of thesmall baby birds flying with their newfound strength.

He knew that no matter what, he could count on his hyungs to be his little push into the sky, despite any complications along his way.

He had his full trust in them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha, guys im posting this now but i wrote this a long time ago (crosspost on wp)
> 
> so if you compare this with some of my more recent writing, haha, just a note, my new writing is slightly better i think
> 
> and im too lazy to edit
> 
> so yea
> 
> idk just wanted to let that out


	16. 14

  
Youngjae was panting, sweat dripping from his forehead, face tinted with pink. The showcase was the very next day, while his official debut was in mere hours.

His trainer and dance teacher had told him he was ready, his moves fluent with the music.

Youngjae shook his head, replaying the track on the computer.

"One more time," He said, gulping down half of a water bottle in the process. "Just one more time."

Youngjae had the need to become comfortable enough with moves. Sure, he knew them by heart, the words, melodies, beats and everything. Heck, he was caught a few times mumbling the song(s) in his sleep in, as Yugyeom had claimed, "the perfect timing, tune, and pitch".

The comment only pushed Youngjae to work harder than before, pleased with what seemed like progress.

He was getting there.

But to him, it wasn't quite yet perfect.

As a result, the continuous, repeated practices continued a few more times, Youngjae visibly becoming more relaxed each time through.

The last note rung as Youngjae struck his final pose, eyes shut, a breathless smile on his face.

The sharp sound of applause suddenly struck the room, catching Youngjae slightly off guard.

"That was amazing, Youngjae," Jinyoung complimented, stepping in with a warm smile on his face.

"Really?" Youngjae replied, out of breath as he laid down on the floor. "I feel so damn tired, I could sleep here."

Jinyoung laughed, joining the younger boy. "Well, to be honest, you're doing much better than we did the night before our debut performance. You should've seen us, we were a mess."

"Really?" Youngjae said again, this time more animated, disbelief laced in his words.

Shaking his head, Jinyoung chuckled at the memory. "The two were practically babies. Bambam was freaking out and Yugyeom was caught up on every move, thinking he was making mistakes even when they were perfect. I was just stressed trying to keep them from falling apart."

Youngjae tried picturing the scene, finding it hard to do so after seeing the calm, collected demeanors of the trio.

"Then after our performance we were filled with excitement and adrenaline. It was just the first performance that was nerve wracking really. The rest became more fun time after time," Jinyoung explained, sighing at the end.

Youngjae spoke up. "Will it become easier for me too?"

"Definitely."

Youngjae grinned, eyes flickering shut, as he let the exhaustion and stress leave his body, relaxing under the bright lights and against the cold wooden floor.

Seconds later, Jinyoung jolted him awake, yelling at him to not sleep, commanding him like a mother to get dressed so that they could leave to eat. When Youngjae tried to protest, Jinyoung glared at him, challenging him to even try to refuse his orders again.

Scared, Youngjae suddenly found some source of energy in himself to run and grab his coat and throw it on.

Smiling as if nothing had happened, Jinyoung led the boy out into the car waiting for him.

The stars were twinkling brightly in the sky as Youngjae peered out of the window to gaze at the hectic world passing by.

"Where are we going?" He asked lazily after a while, lost in whatever it was he was doing or looking at. To be frank, he wasn't quite sure either.

"It's a surprise," Jinyoung replied, observing the curious kid, noting the bright glint in his eyes.

And nothing more was said during that ride.

~

"SURPRISE!"

Youngjae jumped towards Jinyoung at the sudden loud sound. From under the table and behind the nearby doors and the walls, the rest of the boys popped out with bright smiles, cheering like their favorite sports team had won the world championships.

Jinyoung wasn't kidding when he said it was surprise.

Quickly, Youngjae was guided to the end of the table, where a large, grand, throne-like chair was waiting for him.

Bambam whipped out a crown from nowhere, placing it gently on Youngjae's head.

Youngjae laughed at the silly antics of his friends as they each bowed down to him.

"Sir, may we be seated," Jackson asked ever-so politely, moving to bow on his knees as if it would cause Youngjae to have more mercy on him. Yugyeom slapped Jackson's arms; still following the older's actions in a fit of giggles.

Youngjae hummed in thought, grabbing the wand nearby, pretending to ponder on the question.

"I'm not sure. Show me your charms and I'll consider it," He demanded playfully, anticipating nothing but chaos.

Indeed he wasn't disappointed as six excited boys began to shout at Youngjae, trying to gain his attention at them.

He called them up one by one, staring with a look of amusement and slight regret.

Bambam came up first, walking towards him with that runway walk he always did for some reason. The boy broke out in the latest girl group dance, dancing around Youngjae's chair, causing Youngjae to find it incredibly hard to keep in his laughter.

Suddenly, Bambam struck the Dabwhy pose, ending his routine with a whip and nae-nae.

"Shall I continue, sir?" The dancer asked, shooting Youngjae a smirk.

"Please sit down, that was enough," Youngjae practically pleaded in between his laughter.

Sending a cheeky wink towards the boys, Bambam sat down with pride.

Next to approach the stage was Mark, performing a martial arts trick to reach directly next to Youngjae. Holding the younger's hand, Mark performed his well-known aegyo, earning loud protests from the others, all of them knowing that this charm was hard to top.

Youngjae got distracted by the yells, and to regain his focus, Mark began to hold Youngjae' hand in a tight, death grip.

Frightened, Youngjae granted Mark the next seat, holding his hand close to him when it was returned.

"Look you scared him," Jackson exclaimed, beginning to walk forward, only to be interrupted by Jinyoung, who had begun to break out in his sexy dance.

Youngjae was honestly scared for his sanity by this point as he tried to break Jinyoung's hard stare on him.

"You can sit!" He exclaimed, laughing but eyes wide from the scene. He was honestly scarred for life by that point.

Hoping to see a less, well, weird(?) charm, Youngjae invited Yugyeom to the podium, pleased when the youngest began to break out in his talented freestyle.

Meanwhile Yugyeom was giggling madly under the snapback he had on as he cheesily tried to woo Youngjae.

The dancing box clapped in happiness, giving Yugyeom his permission to be seated as well.

Now, all who were left were Jackson and Jaebum.

Jackson voluntarily gave the floor to Jaebum, claiming that he was saving the best for last.

Jaebum shrugged, taking off his hat as well, holding it against his chest, intiating actor mode.

"Youngjae-ah," He began, staring at Youngjae lovingly. "I may have a cold heart, but I swear, it warms up just for you." At the end of the statement, Jaebum, face shaking in regret, reached into his coat, only to shoot the throned king a heart and wink.

A split moment of silence followed the line before everyone exploded into chaos, heavily cringing at the line.

Jaebum looked away, screaming as well, defending himself from Jackson's yells, "What was that?!?"

Youngjae sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, not noticing the knowing looks that everyone else were sharing.

"You may sit, hyung," He answered, slightly embarrassed as well, having caught the emotion second handedly.

As Jaebum settled down, Mark and Bambam reached out for the menus, passing them around, discussing a few dishes already. They giggled together, sneaking a glance at the waiting Jackson.

Jackson cleared his throat.

"Yes?" The both of them chorused. Ignoring them, Jackson looked at Youngjae.

"My dearest sir, I have prepared a special rap for you today."

Youngjae nodded slowly, changing his motion to shaking his head from side to side once he heard the lyrics.

"I order pizza, there ain't no coupon..."

The production continued two more times, each one with a different language.

"Please, be seated," Youngjae begged with a laugh at the end of the rap. He sighed in relief as the 7th person sat down.

Never again, he told himself, holding his head in his hand. Never again.

~

Before it was hours before his debut stage.

Now it was minutes.

28 minutes to be exact.

In 28 minutes, Youngjae was expected to go onstage and awe the audience.

In 28 minutes, Youngjae was expected to go onstage and bring his company up in the charts, save his company from its apparent pitfall.

In 28 minutes, Youngjae was expected to risk many things.

But Youngjae wasn't ready.

Cowering in the bathroom stall, Youngjae was panicking heavily, eyes threatening to let out tears that he knew he shouldn't allow to fall.

Youngjae was finding it hard to breathe, his anxiety taking the best of him.

There was no way out, however way he saw it.

All of his worst fears consumed him right then and there, suffocating him in self-doubt and last minute, unneeded second thoughts.

Outside, Youngjae knew there were people looking for him like crazy, but he couldn't even bring himself to stand up from his fetal position on the floor.

The idea of disappointing those people waiting on him outside only made him worse, throwing Youngjae in a small frenzy of broken, held back, quiet sobs.

It was too much.

And Youngjae was alone.

That was not a good thing.

When Youngjae was alone, he was vulnerable to the wrath of his own thoughts. There was no mercy when the gears began turning backwards, yanking Youngjae away from the real world to his worst nightmares.

The door to the bathroom suddenly creaked open, causing Youngjae to hold in his breath, trying to avoid making any other sound.

He was still shaking like crazy, wide eyes staring at the ground, looking for the feet of the people who had just walked in.

"Youngjae?" Mark's voice called out softly as three pairs of feet strolled in.

Youngjae remained still, shutting his eyes, thinking that if he didn't move, didn't make a sound, that they would just go away.

They didn't.

"Guys, over here," Jackson stated, walking towards Youngjae's direction.

Oh no, Youngjae panicked even more.

Someone knocked on the door.

"Jae? We know you're in there," Jackson spoke gently, afraid to speak loud, thinking that the volume would break the fragile boy.

The pairs of feet shuffled. "Youngjae, just listen to us please. Yo-you don't have to speak, just listen," Mark began, taking in a deep breath. "We can only imagine the amount of pressure and stress you're in right now, and, we know you're scared. There's nothing wrong with that."

"You're amazing Jae," Jackson continued, leaning against the door. "I mean, look how far you've made in the past weeks. Weeks, are you hearing me?! People work for months and years to reach the level where you are right now. And that level is like pretty much perfection. You've practiced so much, you're going to do fine. You're going to be the best, don't you worry."

"We believe in you Youngjae," Mark finished, head resting on the door.

And at those words, Youngjae let go, letting his head roll back against the wall as he released the breath he was holding in for the entire time.

He sniffled, feeling new feelings of relief and love pouring in, cracking the dam he had built.

Now he was practically crying silently, not holding back.

The three boys outside of the door shared a few hushed whispers, two of them leaving shortly afterwards.

"Youngjae," Jaebum said for the first time in that moment. "Unlock the door."

Youngjae mindlessly followed the command, scurrying back into his position as Jaebum walked in, leaning in front of him immediately, eyes soft with worry and care.

Jaebum didn't say anything besides leaning forward, reaching out to bring Youngjae's face up from his arms, revealing the sad, puffy, red face with cherry cheeks stained with tears.

Jaebum sighed, wiping the tears off of Youngjae's cheeks.

"I-I can't s-stop i-it," Youngjae broke out.

"Stop what Youngjae?"

Youngjae was staring into Jaebum's eyes, looking worn out. Even though his gaze was directly into Jaebum's eyes, the other could see the unfocused, dazed state the poor boy was in front of them.

"The thoughts. They're not nice," Youngjae whispered as if he were disclosing the most sacred secret in the world.

Jaebum nodded. "What are they saying Jae?"

Youngjae gulped, staring into the deep brown eyes in front of him, hesitantly spilling out the monsters in his head.

He then rambled, releasing the avalanche that had been threatening to crash for ages. As Youngjae let go, he got caught in the fire of the crash. He wasn't really breathing, face reddening even more, and if he continued this way he would probably end up passing out.

But then suddenly, the collapse was interrupted as a warm pair of lips gently met with his own.

Youngjae froze.

The monsters were suddenly gone, everything vanishing all at once.

Shutting his eyes, Youngjae melted into the warm, loving kiss, shakily reaching out to hold onto Jaebum's shirt for support.

Jaebum then leaned back, allowing the two of them to regain their breaths as they stared at each other.

"You're perfect," Jaebum breathed out. "Do you hear me?"

Youngjae nodded, blinking away the tears.

It was like Jaebum had defeated all the nasty demons that haunted his mind by kissing him.

"They're gone," He confessed with an expression of amazement.

Jaebum frowned amusingly. "Oh really?"

Youngjae just nodded, leaning forward to capture Jaebum's lips, alarming the bigger boy.

Jaebum smiled into the kiss, cocking his head with a smirk when Youngjae moved backwards.

Youngjae blushed furiously, ducking his head, earning a chuckle from Jaebum.

"So cute," The older man commented, bringing his arms around Youngjae tightly, holding Youngjae together.

Youngjae whined, hitting the other man with no heat behind the attack, telling him to stop calling him cute.

"Ok then," Jaebum shrugged. "Adorable."

Youngjae huffed childishly with a pout.

Suddenly, Youngjae gasped, realizing what he had done.

What they had done.

Looking at Jaebum with worry, he saw nothing but happiness and—dare he say—love glinting in the other's warm eyes.

"Don't worry, Choi Yoingjae. I'm not going to leave you," Jaebum promised. "I'm here to stay."

And Youngjae wasn't sure if it was just relief he was feeling, like he wanted this to happen.

Youngjae beamed, muttering a thank you and returning the tight hug.

Jaebum smiled, hauling Youngjae up in his arms as he rose, heading out of the bathroom.

Youngjae clung onto his hyung, enjoying the strong embrace and well, the ride as well.

Jaebum dropped him off at the entrance of his dressing room.

"Do you remember where we are in the crowd?" He asked from behind Youngjae.

Youngjae nodded, preparing himself mentally for the performance. He knew that his friends were there in the audience, and has specifically remembered where they were to be seated so that he could peer over there for comfort.

"I'll be waiting for you when you come back," Jaebum stated as well, earning another nod from the small boy in front of him.

"Me too," Youngjae answered in a whisper, feeling warm butterflies in his gut.

Giving the boy one last hug, Jaebum stepped back, turning around to head out.

"Knock them out kiddo!! FIGHTING!!" He called out from down the hall before disappearing behind a set of two, large black doors.

Youngjae took in a deep breath.

He was okay.

He could do this.

(Youngjae smiled, heart skipping a beat at the memory of the moments before.

He had something to forward to now for after the performance.)

Promising himself to do his best for everyone out there, Youngjae pushed past everything and marched in headstrong.

Now or never, Youngjae, he told himself, determination brewing in his heart.

It was time to display what hours and hours of painful, constant, non-stop practice leads up to.

It was officially show time.


	17. 15

Jinyoung was right.

The performance was probably the most nerve-wracking thing that Youngjae had ever done in his whole life.

However, it wasn't the worst.

In fact, as soon as he had stepped off of the illuminated platform, he could feel the adrenaline and excitement still circulating through his bloodstream. He felt like he could go back onstage and perform the routine all over again, as many times as he wanted to.

To him, Youngjae felt powerful.

Invincible.

With the amount of cheers and applause he had received, Youngjae had the night in his palms and the audience was at his mercy.

Youngjae was that night's highlight.

Smiling as he desperately tried to regain his breath, Youngjae stumbled past the staff members to head towards the end of the building to meet up with his proud friends.

He stopped at the end of the hall, observing the scene.

They were waiting patiently, playing and conversing amongst each other, their backs turned towards Youngjae.

Letting out a relieved laugh, Youngjae started to jump up and down, waving his hands as he opened his mouth to exclaim in delight.

"Maa—hmpf!!" His exclamation was stopped by a strong hand that had yanked him back, covering his mouth and trapping him in an uncomfortable, foreign hold.

Youngjae let out a surprised squeak from the back of his throat as he entered panic, struggling to break the restraints.

"Don't fight back," A gruff voice instructed. "The boss needs to speak with you."

Frightened, Youngjae froze, eyebrows furrowing as he tried to think of who this Boss was. Eyes widening in realization, he took in a large gasp once he was released, shaking in fear.

"Now," The tall, scary man demanded, grabbing his arm and dragging his small, frail frame back inside the building.

Youngjae followed quickly, throwing a quick, brief glance full of confusion and want towards his friends, silently wishing that he was with them instead.

What could the "boss" possibly want from me?, he thought in despair as he disappeared behind the corner of the wall at the end of the hall, the 6 lively boys vanishing from his line of sight.

Meanwhile, right at that moment, Mark turned slightly in worry, gazing at the emptiness in the halls, hoping that the young performer would skip down the space in any minute with his signature bright smile on his face.

"Do you think he's okay?" He asked, breaking the height comparison match occurring among them.

Yugyeom frowned, looking back at the end of the hall. "It has been awhile, it shouldn't take this long," He agreed.

"Wait what happened after our first performance?" Bambam asked, trying to connect the two.

Jinyoung shrugged. "I didn't pay attention."

The boys shared looks, silently discussing what to do.

"Give him a few more minutes," Jaebum instructed. "Otherwise, we go in."

~

Youngjae followed the man, head down, in a state of slight panic. He was trying to formulate reasons as to why did Kwon send another person for him.

"Youngjae," The short man greeted. "You did well."

Nervously, Youngjae smiled, bowing as he gave his appreciation.

The man chuckled, leading him away from the 'bodyguard-like' man that had brought him there. "I must apologize for the method of gaining your attention," Kwon remarked, ushering Youngjae even further into the strange room they were in. "You must understand, I am quite overjoyed by your performance."

Youngjae nodded quickly, suddenly feeling uncomfortable near the man who had given him the chance to be what he is now. The younger, naïve boy was conflicted, trying to ignore that little voice in his head telling him to just 'Run! Get Out! What are you waiting for?!?'

And Youngjae almost gave in, eyes lingering slightly at the partially open door.

But alas, his moral values began to butt in, and Youngjae tuned his focus to the man he owed quite a lot to.

Just like that his chance was lost.

Clearing his throat, Kwon expectantly looked at the man, brows raised. Youngjae followed his gaze curiously, wondering what the deal was.

The man reached into his coat and Youngjae tensed, subconsciously taking a slight step back.

Kwon didn't notice, and even if he did, he didn't give any acknowledgement.

After a few minutes of searching almost every pocket, the item was found and presented to Youngjae.

Frowning, Youngjae took the small, black jewelry box from his hands, inspecting its exterior. He threw a questioning glance at his boss, who smiled and nodded, giving him the 'Go ahead'.

Even more confused than ever, Youngjae took in a breath and just rolled along, snapping the box open.

He gasped as soon as he saw what was inside, a relieved smile glowing on his face.

Resting on the soft, velvety cushion was his necklace he had lost the day of his audition. It was the same necklace that his hyungs seemed to have different variations of.

Youngjae was speechless as he dwindled the chain and charm in his hand, handling it so delicately as if he were going to lose it again soon.

"Thank you. Th-thank you, where did you find this?" Youngjae asked animatedly.

Kwon gave him a pat on the back, explaining himself. "Well, one of my staffs had found it in a corner of a room not too long ago. I decided to fix it up as a debut present. A token of appreciation, my friend."

Youngjae repeated his 'thank yous' over and over again, giving the small boss a large hug.

Kwon nodded at the boy's glee, pushing him off, urging him to put it on.

Youngjae's eyes widened and he exclaimed in joy, agreeing with the thought of wearing the chain again.

Without any more hesitation, Youngjae slipped on the necklace on his neck; head down as he tried to clasp the two ends together.

He frowned, sticking his tongue out a bit, concentrated, as he tried to get the two ends together. 

Jackson was dragging Mark along into the bright space, trying to get the older to marvel at the large, bright new home of theirs with him. Mark followed along, a fond look on his face.

Jaebum shook his head at the two, already expecting the struggles of managing their quarrels as their leader.

The four guardians, their task just born, were merely young teenagers, the oldest being 15 (Mark). The last thing that should've been done was someone letting all four of them live on their own together.

Speaking of the fourth, the youngest guardian shyly walked in, still quite awkward around his new hyungs. The boy was clutching his new guardian chain in his hands, fiddling with it out of anxiety.

Jaebum turned to the younger. "C'mon Youngjae." Despite his call, Jaebum just walked over to the younger, reaching out for his chain.

"Air, huh? Cool," He commented cheerily (while trying to act cute? Well not really cute, just un-Jaebum-like).

Youngjae nodded, cheeks red.

Suddenly the leader realized something.

"Jae-ah, why aren't you wearing your charm?"

Youngjae sheepishly looked down, mumbling his answer.

"Huh?" Jaebum leaned forward to hear better.

"Icouldn'tputitonbymyself!" Youngjae exclaimed abruptly. He gasped at his volume, covering his face with both his hands.

Jaebum took a few moments to recollect himself, shaking the strange ringing (ear damage) out of his ears.

Youngjae looked from behind his hands, panicking when he saw the other's state. He immediately began to bow down to apologize, hitting both himself and Jaebum in their heads while doing so.

Jaebum held his head, cracking his eyes open to look at the little mess that was Youngjae in front of him.

Meanwhile, Youngjae was caught, staring at the taller, bigger man in fear.

Jaebum snorted, breaking out into a fit of laughter at the cute boy in front of him.

"Aigoo! You're so cute," He cooed from between his laughs, bringing Youngjae in for a hug.

The younger remained frozen, not understanding the situation. He was still caught up on the fact that apparently Jaebum should've been mad at him.

"Here," Jaebum spun Youngjae around, the both of them facing a golden wall, which was reflecting their images. "Allow me."

Youngjae slowly handed the chain over, relaxing as he shifted his head down, allowing Jaebum more space to close the clasp.

Gently, the raven haired man brought the necklace around Youngjae's neck, carefully joining both ends.

He gave the other a small pat, telling him to look up.

Youngjae did so, staring at Jaebum through their reflection. He beamed once he saw the silver chain around his neck, reaching out to touch the charm.

Click.

The two ends were connected together.

Youngjae, lost in the haze, subconsciously followed the actions of his past self, reaching to touch the charm.

A slap was thrown at Youngjae's wrist, as Jaebum looked at him in a scolding manner.

"Don't play with it, you'll break it," He reprimanded.

Youngjae smiled, at the memory, still playing with the charm, despite Jaebum's warning.

The chain had broken many times.

The chain had been replaced many times.

But the charm still stayed.

Grinning, Jaebum ruffled Youngjae's soft, brunette hair. "C'mon kid, let's look around our new home."

Home.

Youngjae wanted to be home.

He wanted to be home with his hyungs, back in the sky.

A lone, cold droplet of a tear rolled down his cheeks as his face fell at the realization.

This wasn't it.

This wasn't home.

Youngjae's eyes rolled back as he began to feel dizzy, his own body weight collapsing on himself.

As he fell down to the cold ground, an unknown darkness seeming to take over him, he was caught up on one thought.

Home.

~

The boys did wait for a few minutes.

Youngjae never came back.

Worried with an unsettling feeling dropping low in their guts, the six boys barged into the dressing areas, only to find the one they were looking for missing.

They questioned the dressers and staff members, anyone they could find.

Each time they were met with confused declines.

No one had seen Youngjae.

"He ran away from us to go to you guys," The main stylist had replied, trying to help out the best she could.

Jaebum sighed, holding the bridge of nose, trying to calm down. Jinyoung came behind him, giving him a reassuring pat.

"He's smart. We'll find him, don't you worry."

Jaebum wasn't just about to give in so easily. Neither were Mark and Jackson. They were determined to never go through anything like this again.

Not again.

They weren't going to lose Youngjae again.

"Yo! Are you guys with the new kid?" A bright, sweaty small boy walked up to them. He had just performed. "He was amazing! Where is he? Can I meet him?"

"Mark, who are you talking to?" Another person, seeming to be from the same group by his clothes, walked up behind the small boy.

"They're the guys with Youngjae I think," 'Mark' explained.

The other looked up with a smile, holding out his hand as a greeting. "I'm Johnny," He stated suddenly, causing Mark to snort and hold in his laughter. "And this kid is Mark."

Funnily enough, Mark greeted the two first, the others following in fashion.

"Are you waiting for Youngjae? I just saw him in one of the rooms with his boss I think," Johnny explained, pointing back in the direction where he came from.

At hearing this, each and every one of the boys perked up, eyes darting between the hall and Johnny and then at the hall again.

"Which room?" Jackson asked anxiously.

Johnny looked away momently in thought. "Um, I think the 3rd room to the lef—" Jaebum and Mark suddenly walked away, bee lining for the hall.

"Alright thanks," Jackson replied, shooting the two performers a pair of thumbs up before leading the others behind the two oldest.

Johnny shot a smile with a 'No Problem' before leading his own dongsaeng towards where they had to be.

Mark was awestruck at a certain revelation as he was pushed back.

"Johnny I think they were GOT..."

~

Youngjae was in pain.

Everything burned with a dull, shooting pain, and really he didn't see the reason for the restraints that were holding him down since he wasn't going to move in anyway because of the situation he was in.

Another reason was the fact that all he could see was darkness.

As much as he tried, he was unable to wake up, despite being consciously fully awake. It was like he was experiencing some form of sleep paralysis to the extreme.

"Youngjae," The last voice he wanted to hear spoke. The boy in pain suddenly felt a pair of hands shake him. "I think it's time to wake up now."

And as if a switch was turned on, Youngjae's eyes flew open, directly meeting with the two, beady, now dark eyes of his boss.

Youngjae flinched, trying to move away from the man and from his restraints in general. But alas, his efforts were fruitless as he groaned in pain, instinctively moving to hold his head, which wasn't really going to happen now, was it?

Kwon laughed half-heartedly, walking away from Youngjae, allowing the young boy to take a good look around the room he was being held captive in.

It seemed like a lab of some sort, with a few rows of lab tables on one end, and a large monitor screen on the other. In the center of the room was some contraption of some sort that, well, Youngjae was being held in.

Bravely, the boy spoke out. "What do you want from me?"

Kwon smirked, ignoring the question and moving to engage with a small conversation with one of the scientists who were circling around the room.

Youngjae, biting the inside of his cheek to bear the pain, still continued to look around, becoming even more startled when he saw the doctor/scientist looming behind him.

"His vitals are in check, I think we are ready to proceed sir," He said, noting a few notes in his notepad.

Kwon smiled, strolling to Youngjae. He gave the boy a small pat on his shoulder.

"Power."

"What?" Youngjae asked, leaning away from the touch.

"It's not what I want my boy. It's what I can give to you," Kwon explained. "I can give you all the power in the world."

Youngjae was perplexed. Was he or was he not talking about fame?

"Soon, you and I will the most powerful people in this world," Kwon continued, emphasizing on the 'you and I'.

Youngjae began to struggle against the restraints.

"I don't want it! Or need it!" He fought back, glaring at Kwon with such an intense look that it could kill.

"Sir, we are ready to proceed."

Kwon nodded. "You may start."

He leaned in to whisper in Youngjae's ear. "Just relax. This may hurt a bit."

Youngjae's eyes widened. "What? What do you mean? What are you going to do me?!" His voice volume rose to the point where he was yelling.

Frightened to his core, Youngjae could feel the tears prickling in his eyes as he looked up to stare at the device lowering itself on him, some sort of laser beam pointing towards him as clear glass walls caged him in.

Youngjae let out a cry, falling back helplessly.

There was no use in fighting.

He wasn't going to be able to get out from this point.

Shutting his eyes tightly, Youngjae tensed, bracing for the blast.

He pleaded for anyone to come in and wake him up from the horrible nightmare and just hold him in their arms, giving him the comfort of their protection.

The machine whirred to life, roaring as it powered up.

No one came.

~

Six boys barreled into one car, Jaebum sliding into the driver's seat of the minivan they had oh-so nicely borrowed from someone in the building.

Turning the ignition, the man slammed on the accelerator, spinning around onto the highway, speeding towards a certain building: the RECORDz headquarters.

Each and every boy in the van clicked in their seat belts, still leaning forward in anticipation.

A ride that should've taken them about a half an hour took them merely some 10 minutes. Drifting into the nearest parking place, they all stumbled upon each other, falling in a big heap in front of the car.

Jaebum slammed the door shut unintentionally, not sure how to channel the emotions coursing through his body.

"C'mon guys! This way!" Jackson exclaimed, sprinting towards the entrance, leading the boys in.

The receptionist shot them a look, not stopping them otherwise.

They all stopped, gathering in a circle.

"Where could he be?" Jinyoung asked, voicing all of their concerns out loud.

Bambam, Yugyeom, and Jackson shared a look. "We think we may know," Bambam began. "There was this se—"

Suddenly the empty halls of the building were filled with an alarming noise.

An ear-splitting scream bounced off of the walls throughout the entire institution.

Jaebum's blood ran cold as he froze, eyes wide.

The identity of the scream weighed in on him and all the worry in him began to brew into hot, steaming anger.

"Youngjae?!" He called out, only to be replied with another round of screams.

Jackson turned to the group. "Follow me!"

They all sprinted, following Jackson again, towards the direction of the secret room, where, coincidently enough, the screams were coming from.

They stampeded through the hall, bumping into an individual who was regretfully making his way out of the building.

Jackson paused upon looking back and recognizing the person as Youngjae's trainer. Body slamming the other into the wall, Jackson pinned the trainer down.

"Where's Youngjae!?" He asked with enough fire to burn down the cities all around.

Cowering, the trainer replied without any fight. "The lab! The lab!"

Bambam ran to the front with the confirmation that Youngjae was indeed in that room, leading the way in Jackson's place.

Jinyoung yanked Jackson off of the trainer, dragging the other 94-liner with him.

But Jackson wasn't done yet, as he shouted the one comment he had been holding back for the longest time.

"You're the crappiest trainer I've seen!"

~

They had reached the entrance of the lab, facing the locked door with the most enraged faces ever.  The screams were over, an eerie silence filling up the cavity they left behind.

"What are we going to do?" Yugyeom asked in frustration.

Jaebum scoffed. Like a door could stop him.

"Move," He stated coldly. The others complied immediately, Jinyoung giving him a warning look.

Jaebum ignored it, channeling the anger in him to his body.

Coming into stance, Jaebum pounced, slamming his shoulder against the door, successfully knocking it down with one blow.

Breathing heavily, Jaebum madly looked around the lab for any signs of Youngjae.

"Youngjae?!?" The boys called out, looking around.

Nothing.

The room was dark.

The lab was empty.

A medical chair with restraints stood in the middle of the room, deserted.

They were too late.

Youngjae was gone.

Bambam and Yugyeom gasped in shock, Yugyeom having to bite back some tears, after seeing the faint blood stains on the binds.

The rest followed in suit at the grim, gruesome scene.

And all Jaebum saw, was red.


	18. 16

There was an abyss.

The darkness was all around.

A place, where it seemed like no living thing had ever set foot in, now encased Youngjae.

Pained by his memories of the recent events, he jolted up, a spark of energy rushing through his, stirring his 'fight or flight' system awake.

Youngjae didn't know where he was as he frantically spiraled around in the glass cage, searching for a way out.

Where was he?

An cynical laughter chilled Youngjae's spine, and upon turning around, Youngjae gasped, meeting the sight of the world as he knew it, however through a large screen that seemed to take up what was supposed to be the front wall.

Youngjae saw in large, the static monitors of the computers to which the security cameras were hooked up to.m,  figures running through the hallways, in a frantic frenzy of a search.

Youngjae's breath was caught in his throat, fear filling him up.

It was his friends.

They were there, in that building right then and there, with no idea of what was about to happen.

Not even Youngjae knew, but as he stared at the scene of Jaebum knocking down the door for him, a sick, unsettling feeling fell deep in his gut.

"No!" He cried, rushing up to the image, ready to jump out and run to them, to warn them, to save them.

But instead his face collided with the cold, hard fibers of the glass.

Falling back, Youngjae held his face in his hands, shaking as he collapsed to his knees.

"Nononono," He repeated under his breath, a certain fire overcoming him, burning him alive in the feeling of guilt and helplessness.

Piercing lightning bolts of pain shot through his neurons, leaving him unmoving on the floor where he tried desperately recover from the episodes.

They came in fragments.

The flashbacks.

One by one, piecing his past together, puzzle by puzzle, piece by piece.

It felt like someone was jabbing and stabbing the pieces together, and eventually, Youngjae gave up on fighting back, and he went limp, the processor of his brain heating up with no fan to cool it down, about to short circuit from the overloading of data and memories.

He remembered.

He remembered it all.

He remembered when he was born or created by In Hyung and for what reason.

He remembered the first time he met the others.

He remembered their days up in the sky.

He remembered being brought to life one day by the fall of a tear.

He remembered their attempts to help In Hyung, only to fail.

He remembered meeting GOT.

He remembered them being their enemy.

He remembered getting close with them after a while, wanting to be human for a while.

He remembered his fight with Jaebum, Mark and Jackson fighting on his side.

He remembered it all.

He remembered Mark, Jackson, Yugyeom, Jinyoung, and Bambam.

He remembered Jaebum.

But most of all, the most striking moment that had vanished from his life, collided back with him at the end of it all, the moment after which nothing was ever the same again.

Youngjae spent most of his days in the small, cozy music shop, downtown of the city, where not many lived.

Majority of the time he would listen in on the music being played, resonating with the melodies, finding his peace and comfort in the sharpest and softest tunes.

Youngjae would tune into the radio, wondering about the music everyone was in that day, humming along, remembering his favorite songs, composing the scores for each in his mind distinctly ain't out the help of a piano. .

To Youngjae, music was his everything.

And sadly, it was also his downfall.

It was on that day that Youngjae's sacred place had betrayed him.

As usual, Youngjae was happily swaying to the soft chords being produced by the small frail hands of a little girl on the piano stool, who was engrossed in her rendition of "River Flows In You" by Yiruma.

He was too blissed to noticed the chime of the door, signaling that someone had entered the premises.

The man cleared his throat, stopping the girl.

Youngjae frowned, looking at the girl who was about to cry in fear. Instantly, he jumped down to hold her in comfort, tell her that she was amazing, thinking that she was crying because of a silly mistake he didn't catch.

But the girl ran away. (Not that he would actually be able to hold the girl, however that didn't stop him from trying).

Confused, Youngjae looked up, shrieking when he was greeted by the beady, boring eyes of a short, stumpy man staring right into his own.

Youngjae didn't dare move.

"Excellent," The man's eyes widened as he let out a cackle. "Just wonderful! Perfect!"

He walked up, eyes never breaking their gaze that had Youngjae's locked in their own.

"Hello doll. Welcome to my dollhouse."

Click.

Youngjae hadn't noticed the device.

A white light flashed and it was done.

There was no going back.

Youngjae would never return back.

The throwback in time had left Youngjae out of breath, cold sweat breaking out.

"Alright," Kwon's voice echoed in the abyss. "Youngjae. It's now the real show time."

Youngjae gulped. When he claimed that he would be able to perform many more shows after his debut, this is not what he meant.

This was definitely not what he meant.

~

Kwon marched into the JYP facility, his head held high, a disgusting smirk plastered on his face.

This was it.

This was the moment he had been waiting for.

In just a few minutes, he'd be able to set things right, once and for all. He'll be able to get what he thought he deserved.

As he easily pranced through the hallways, he couldn't help but laugh at his anticipation at what was going to happen. He wasn't worried the slightest, having full faith in the brilliant plan he had so wonderfully developed.

He paused in front of the doors, giving Youngjae one last look, before proceeding forward, the boy following him.

The door opened with a loud bang, and JYP could be seen jumping in shock at the sound.

Just as he was about to question who the intruder was from his large computer monitor screen, he froze, mouth falling agape as he looked at the person.

"Hello brother," Kwon greeted, amused at the other's dumbfounded expression.

"What do you want?" JYP asked, voice chilled, cutting straight to the chase. The last thing he wanted to do was waste his time 'talking' with the annoying, good for nothing piece of garbage in front of him.

Kwon knew how his brother felt about him very well. "I'm here to get what is rightfully mine." He also knew about himself.

JYP's gaze drifted to Youngjae, eyes softening just a bit as he saw the condition of the mindless boy in front of him.

It dawned on him that maybe this time, Kwon actually meant business. Kwon was actually serious.

"What did you do to him?" He asked in anger, upon realizing that the boy was most probably there not by his own will but by force.

Kwon shrugged. "I've had some savings in the bank, you know? I decided to use it on something more useful and help society advance even further. And well, here is it, the fruit of my expenditures. The first test of the mind control serum ever known to man."

Mind control wasn't even possible, JYP thought. Was it?

"But, how?"

Kwon was more than willing to share his accomplishments. "It was simple. I had my scientists and they told me what to do. All I had to do was sneak some drugs in his meals and crush his esteem so low that he'd follow everything I did. The second step wasn't that simple, you see, since my boy seemed to have developed some guardians of his own."

JYP shook his head in disappointment. "I still can't believe you're still caught up on this."

Suddenly, the shorter man's expression darkened and he rushed up to the desk, slamming his hands on the top, shaking the apparatus. JYP remained unmoving.

"You," Kwon jabbed his finger at his sibling's chest, hatred laced in his words. "Don't have the right to say that. Especially when you're success is only accounted to these petty little spirits that surprisingly came up in your life. Well guess what?!"

Kwon stepped back, looking completely insane. He'd lost it.

"I was in hell! I was in deeper pits of hell than you! And what? No savior for me?!? I had no one! No one came to my rescue! I crumpled and I suffered! And you had the liberty to have help?! When I was at my lowest, you were blooming! How is any of that fair?! Answer me brother!"

JYP remained silent, listening to his brother's loud complaints again.

Kwon shook, mental. "N-no. Not anymore. Not anymore will I suffer. Why should I when I can make you and the guardians suffer themselves!" He exclaimed, turning quickly on his heels to stare right at Youngjae. "Yes. Yes, yes. Suffer. You will suffer too, doll. I'll make all of you feel sorry for all that you've done."

Youngjae quivered in fear inside, trying to look away from the man's pupil less, demonic eyes. But wherever he turned, those two eyes would follow him everywhere.

There was no escape.

"Let him go," JYP demanded, standing up to face his enraged brother. "He never did anything to you."

Kwon shook his head, holding his finger up to stop JYP's words.

"He didn't do anything to me," Kwon spoke lowly. "But he will do anything for me."

JYP matched Kwon's expression, grabbing the smaller by his shirt and lifting him up.

"Let. Him. Go. This is our fight and not his. Don't drag him in this."

Kwon smiled sickly.

"I'm really tired of fighting. We should end this once and for all, don't you think? Youngjae-ah," He called out, alerting the boy's body which immediately responded, walking over to Kwon.

Kwon gave JYP one last look. "Attack."

And Youngjae's body raised its hand, the air in the room beginning to spiral in his palm.

"No!"

Youngjae's frame stilled at the cry of the familiar voice as three other guardians stumbled into the room.

"What are you doing?" Kwon asked in shrill voice. "Attack!!"

Youngjae's figure moved forward again in another attempt, which was only intercepted by Jackson's body, as the blonde man tried to create a bridge between the Youngjae and JYP.

"Youngjae-ah, please don't. I know you're in there, please," Jackson pleaded, eyes seracing for his loved friend in the sullen, dead eyes of the person who had once again stopped.

There was nothing.

Meanwhile within the abyss, the real Youngjae watched the scene unfold in pure horror.

"No!" He exclaimed. "Please! No!"

But as Kwon ordered for the third time, clearly impatient with the failing science and technics that were delaying his commands, Youngjae could feel the power surge through the networks of his physical body as they prepared for another shot.

A stronger attack.

The science was working.

"Hyung!" Youngjae cried out in desperation, banging his fists against the glass. "Hyung! JACKSON HYUNG MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!"

But Jackson couldn't hear him.

The other was adamant on stopping Youngjae merely through talking, as if their strong bond could break through the binds holding Youngjae down.

Jackson was adamant to find Youngjae within the zombie in front of him.

Jackson was giving it his all, he was trying to fight against the enemy without hurting his loved one.

But Youngjae wasn't strong enough to fight back alongside.

He wasn't even strong enough to stop what happened next.

"Youngjae!" Kwon exclaimed as Jaebum and Mark yanked the smaller boss back, prepared to beat the villain until he was merely dirt. "I said to attack, didn't I?!"

"Yes Master," Youngjae's robotic, low voice rung through the room, time slowing as he proceeded.

Realization dawned through Jackson as he shook his head slightly in denial.

Trapped, Youngjae sobbed furiously, his tears drenching his shirt and sleeves.

"Please!" He pleaded to himself, hugging his arms in a death grip in an attempt to stop his physical self. "Don't do this!"

The efforts were futile.

The wind whirled quickly around his actual form with an intensity that Youngjae has never been able to conjure up before. Then, with the flick of a wrist, the concentrated gusts of deadly, harmful wind were aimed and launched at Jackson, no mercy and second thought spared.

The blonde fire guardian flew across the room, colliding with the wall and collapsing, unconscious. Wounds were scattered across his body, the ends of his clothes in practical shreds.

Kwon smiled triumphantly.

Two guardians were already dealt with.

Jackson was down.

And Youngjae was shattered.


	19. 17

Jaebum pushed forward, eyes dark with seething anger, ice seeping from his feet around the room, encircling Kwon. The frost didn't seem to bother the madman, as he remained seated on the floor, eyes boring into Jaebum, a sickly smirk etched onto his face while the white spikes of the power shot at him, holding him down.

"You can't hurt me," Kwon stated simply, tone dark.

Jaebum smirked right back. "And who says so?" He clenched his fists, the ice constricting Kwon, slowly dissolving into Kwon's body, painfully and slowly turning the smaller man into an ice block.

"He... won't... let... you," The villain struggled out, fighting slightly against the freeze.

As if on cue, Youngjae's figure stepped in, stepping on the ice, a gust of warm wind encircling Kwon, melting the power, lifting the man up.

Jaebum frowned, bringing his command back, clearing the room of any ice.

Youngjae robotically spun, facing Jaebum closely, staring right back with the same smirk as Kwon pasted on his face. It looked out of place, fake, forced, simply not Youngjae.

The figure's whole stance looked extremely unfamiliar and Jaebum was left in more anger as he realized that his Youngjae had changed because of Kwon.

"He can't protect you forever," Jaebum answered, voice low, sending shivers down each and every person's spine.

Kwon quirked an eyebrow, amused. "If that's what you think."

Jaebum gritted his teeth, prepared to attack, hands raised. But Youngjae was quicker and the other moved to prepare his counterattack. Upon noticing the movement, Jaebum fell back.

Meanwhile, Kwon was having the time of his life. He had them all in the palm of his hands, their number one weakness under his control, at his mercy to do whatever he wanted to do to him. And through that, he was also capable of doing anything to the others.

The ice man was struggling inside, as he desperately weighed his options.

Jackson was down.

That only left him and Mark.

Mark would be at risk if he used the other to distract Youngjae.

That left Jaebum to deal with Youngjae and Mark to finish off Kwon.

But Jaebum couldn't.

He couldn't hurt Youngjae.

Trapped, Youngjae could see the flickering emotions in his hyung's eyes.

Creeping up to the screen, Youngjae tried to reach out, past the cage, to touch his hyung, to let him know that he was okay.

Youngjae wasn't okay.

But he had accepted that.

And he was okay with that at least.

As long as his hyungs would be okay, Youngjae was fine with not being okay.

"Hyung!" He cried. "Please, leave! Save yourself!"

But the youngest guardian knew very well that wasn't going to happen. He knew very well what was really going to happen.

Regretfully, Jaebum shut his eyes tight, face turning away from what he was about to do.

"That's not you, Youngjae," He whispered in a practical silent whisper to himself. "That's not him."

Shaking hand raised, Jaebum's guardian chain glimmered, floating slightly as energy was drawn from Jaebum's body to the air to his hand, concentrating in the center of his palm.

Mark watched in horror as the leader guardian advanced with his launch, flinching when the raising hand the concentrated power feel abruptly towards Youngjae. He was expecting a large collision of wind and ice, creating a slicing swirl of hail in the room. Mark braced himself for the aftermath.

But he really didn't have to.

It never came.

The aftermath never happened.

Jaebum was still turned, eyes shut, but his attack never reached Youngjae.

Instead, he had absorbed it all, feeling the heat of the ice coarse vivaciously through his nerves, as he stood tense and rigid, in the hopes to not feel the pain.

Jaebum couldn't do it.

He couldn't hurt Youngjae.

And Youngjae knew that very well as he looked at his hurt leader.

And Youngjae could tell very well what was about to happen again.

The weak, frail boy, drained from the energy that his body seemed to be milking from his depressed, emotional state, stood up, stammering in his walk.

"Kwon!" He exclaimed. "Take me instead! Take me and let them go! Just please!" Youngjae leaned on the glass for support as he yelled. "Let them go!"

Kwon, the bystander and the source of all this chaos, grinned coyly, pleased at the scene that had unfolded.

Youngjae's controlled figure took one look at Jaebum's hand before racing forward, air orbiting his figure. The boy sliced through the space quickly, ramming himself into Jaebum, sending the leader flying up and into the ceiling, creating a large dent. The attacked man let out a large groan as he fell face first on the cold, hard, marble floor with a large thud.

One more guardian down, Kwon thought. One more to go.

The astral form of Youngjae gasped in bewilderment as he saw the defeated and limp Jaebum fly through the air because of his power.

The smaller boy resorted back to his efforts to save his friends at the expense of himself, knowing that he wouldn't able to stand to watch anything more and worse happen.

His pleas were definitely heard by Kwon as the boss rose, laughing maniacally while the controlled boy neared Jaebum's almost unconscious body.

Mark, who had had enough, rushed to Jaebum, arms blocking Youngjae as he sat in between the duo, just like Jackson had done with JYP (who had seemingly fled from the scene).

It looked like it was an endless loop, leaving Mark to wonder:

Would they break the loop in time?

~

Outside, in the parking lot, the members of GOT had cornered the scientists who had been suspiciously fleeing away from the scene.

"And where do you think you're going?" Jinyoung questioned, with a rather evil laugh as Yugyeom held them one by one against the wall in a death grip. Behind the two, stood Bambam, a broken pipe in his hand as the cute boy stared with a dark, deathly glint in his eyes at the scientists.

The lab coats were on the verge of pissing themselves, wishing they had never gotten themselves involved with this whole twisted scenario, funding or not.

They desperately tried to deny their correlation with Youngjae, the fact that they knew what the music group was talking about giving them away.

"We're only going ask once," Jinyoung asserted sternly, Bambam slamming the pipe against his palm threateningly. "How do we save Youngjae."

The tallest lab coat gulped when the mean maknae tightened his grip.

"It'-s a-all Kwon," He stammered out, a cold sweat breaking out. Gulping, he continued when Jinyoung gave him an expectant look. "I-if he's unconscious, Young-youngjae will be f...free."

The answer was simple.

Too simple.

Yugyeom snared in the scientist's face with pure loathe. "We're not dumb you little swine. There's more isn't there." With a strong yank of the other's collar, Yugyeom asked. "What's more to this?"

Bambam continued his partner's statement. "There's always something more, don't deny it. You stupid scientists think you can fool us so easily. We're not babies. We can see past your tricks."

Jinyoung sighed happily at his two dongsaengs working together, making him proud.

"We haven't got all day," He let out, making a big show of being tired.

One of the other two scientists spoke this time, earning glares from his partners. But he couldn't care less. He didn't want to die that day, and by looking at Bambam, he was sure he would if he didn't fess up.

"The chain. Take off the chain after Kwon is down and Youngjae is free forever," He answered quickly, eyes wide and shaking in fright.

Yugyeom gave Jinyoung one look before the oldest of GOT rushed forward, meeting this scientist in the eye.

"If what you said turns out to be false," He started, bringing his hand in front the other's face in a grabbing motion. "Then I will personally find you all and crush you into pieces." At that, Jinyoung closed his fist suddenly, startling the three scientists who only nodded like bobble heads.

No one had anything else to say.

Bambam observed the conditions of the three men whose souls seemed to almost leave their bodies. "Guys, I think they're telling the truth."

Giving one last shove and hiss, Yugyeom let the trio go, shifting back to join Jinyoung and Bambam who were leaving to reach the others and aid them in their battle up in their studio.

They had got what they needed.

~

Kwon shook his head at the repetition in the events, unaware of the revealing events that had just happened, laughing as the hum of Youngjae's cries sparked a little something in him.

"He's begging you know," Kwon spoke rather confidently when he saw Jaebum struggling to sit up with the help of Mark who looked like he was ready to kill Kwon for hurting every one of his younger brothers. "He's begging for me to let you all go. So cute."

Jaebum and Mark both let out a low growl, stances poised for a launch aimed at Kwon.

"He says that I can do anything with him as long as you twerps are left safe and okay," Kwon continued. From the side, Jackson stirred awake, rolling over onto his knees after tuning into the rather disturbing conversation.

"And frankly," The evil man was ready to flip the switch of the guardians that would render them insane, expecting nothing to really happen to him, well since he had Youngjae by his side to protect him. "I'm debating on it. Youngjae was rather entertaining to work with. I wonder whether he could also be rather pleasing as well."

And that did it.

All three guardians felt a newfound rush of power flow through them as Jaebum and Jackson were revived. A roaring battle between fire and ice danced through the small space that was the office, flashes of red and white intertwining together.

Kwon smirked at the air disturbance, ready to use that to his advantage, mouth opening to spit out a feeble command at the mind zombie that was Youngjae.

But he stilled, feeling an uncomfortable sense of fear and misery drip into him like acid. The feeling only heightened when he saw Mark, meeting the oldest dead in the eye.

The boy whose power was to cause love had turned into a form where it could be taken away, pouring hate and misery everywhere he went. Mark's eyes were dark black, like that of a demon, as he stared Kwon down.

Kwon's mouth ran dry.

Jaebum, having noticed the newfound power stepped down, handing the leadership over to Mark quickly.

"You will let him go," Mark's frightening voice rattled through the walls. "Or we won't let you go."

Again, Kwon said. "You can try. You can't hurt me. Youngjae..."

And Youngjae's form began to move again, but this time Mark was prepared, stepping directly in front of the youngest guardian, starting him in the eye, them being so close that their noses were practically touching.

Mark's dark eyes bore into Youngjae's, piercing through the blank, stale stare and into the abyss that Youngjae was in. The trapped boy suddenly felt warmth spread through him, despite the dark image on the screen. As this happened, Mark's black aura encircled him and Youngjae as if it were a protective cocoon from Kwon's hold and grip on Youngjae.

No matter how much Kwon tried, Youngjae would not obey to the commands, and each time he failed, he could feel each and every one of the drops of acid burn through him, one by one, scarring him inside.

Jaebum and Jackson watched their oldest hyung in awe.

At that exact moment, GOT rushed in, slamming the door open as well, eyes wide as they froze once they saw Mark and Youngjae, and Kwon on the floor. They, too, were then caught at the sight of the dark Mark, shock evident on their faces. 

"You idiots," Mark called out, never breaking his gaze with Youngjae. "Get the bastard!"

The boys suddenly jerked out of their trance, nodding in unison before sharing knowing looks. Their vengeful gazes fell upon Kwon.

Kwon had it in for him.

All five boys now smirked at the quivering, joke of a boss in front of them.

Just moments ago, this had almost been them.

But oh, how the tables had turned.

"Boys," Jaebum commanded, fists ready to fight. "It's showtime."

 


	20. 18

 

The boys advanced without any hesitation, all five of them jumping at Kwon all at once. The man, eyes wide, rolled out of the area, jumping up and running away quickly.

Meanwhile, five heads collided together, the boys falling into a large heap of a sorry mess. Groaning, they stood up, holding their heads in pain, each person looking in a different direction, yelling threats at Kwon regardless.

Kwon, seeing his chance, beeped his buzzer, paging his bodyguards. Within minutes, the guards that had been waiting in the cars sprinted out, sunglasses on despite the darkness of the night, lining up behind Kwon, one by one.

Kwon smirked once the boys regained their composure, thinking that the game was still in his hands.

Was it?

Jackson was the first to attack, fire erupting from his palm, a playful expression on his face as the flames spread around his body. One by one, the guards walked to attack Jackson, who, with great difficulty, flicked them away like they were flies.

Bambam and Yugyeom, wanting to get in on the action, ran towards the next batch, one kicking up, the other blocking under, throwing a barrage of multiple joint attacks at the enemies. They, too, had not much difficulty in eliminating the enemy.

Jaebum and Jinyoung focused on Kwon, while Jinyoung walked in the front, ridding the lines of guards around Kwon, Jaebum pushed with brute force, eyes locked on Kwon.

This wasn't as easy, as it seemed that Kwon's strongest men were all around him. These particular men wouldn't stay down as the others, standing up after a few seconds, ready to fight again.

The two leaders were borderline pissed at this.

Meanwhile, as all of this chaos was occurring, Mark was busy with Youngjae, digging deep in the boy's subconscious, searching for the real boy.

"Youngjae," He beckoned, frowning when the blank eyes led to an endless chasm. "C'mon, where are you?"

Youngjae, locked up, could feel the pull of Mark's power at him. In turn, he tried his best to hold onto that power, looking for outlets in the darkness he was in. But Mark's reach wasn't long enough, its strength dissipating until it met Youngjae, leaving the both of them nowhere.

Well, until the oldest saw the flicker of life in Youngjae's eyes. Startled, Mark grabbed onto the victim's arms, as if to anchor the boy down.

Almost there. The love guardian could feel himself getting closer as he felt Youngjae's own power slowly pour into itself, at the molecular level.

Almost there. Just a few more mi—

"Hyung!"

The cry startled the older, breaking his attention away to the scene at hand.

All the guards were down on the floor, unmoving, defeated.

In the middle of it all was Jaebum, the boys scattered distantly from the leader who was reeking of anger, face red, mad, deathly eyes staring the frightened Kwon out.

Jaebum chuckled maniacly, punching the other with brute force, not stopping. He was close to practically killing Kwon, powers left aside, the combat being taken care through simple fist to face techniques.

"Hyung!" Jinyoung warned, rushing forward to hold back the raging man. "That is enough!"

Not being able to hear the approaching member, Jaebum continued with his array of attacks, Kwon's face bleeding through the large cuts and his nose. Hooking his elbow back, Jaebum was prepared to make his very last blow, in order to render Kwon unconscious (probably forever).

Walking briskly to the scene with the intent to stop Jaebum, Jinyoung wasn't able to process the movements carefully. Luckily, an agile and quick Jackson stepped in, swooping away the singer before his pretty idol face could be jeopardized for good.

"Thanks," Jinyoung whispered, breathless from the shock of what had been a large proximity of Jaebum's arm to his face.

Jackson gave him a reassuring pat, more focused on the scene at hand than appreciation.

"Hyung!" He bellowed, stepping in front. "Stop it! You're going to kill him!"

Jaebum merely laughed, the known eye smile having the opposite effect and completely emphasizing the leader's eyes in a rather offish way. "Good. He deserves it."

Bambam and Yugyeom stopped before the ice guardian, wide eyes, running all their options through their heads. There was none.

One last punch and Kwon was down, eyes rolling back into his head, head rolling to the side. Jaebum paused, panting, sweat dripping from his chin to the ground. Hastily, he checked for a pulse.

Ba-dum. Ba-dum.

He cursed under his breath, sitting up in the same stance as before.

With Kwon's consciousness gone, Youngjae's body tensed, eyes flickering, when suddenly, the boy stood up straight, eyes clear white, before collapsing on the ground, limp in Mark's arms as the oldest quickly caught him.

A few shakes later, Youngjae was up and awake, broken eyes meeting Mark's and calming in an instant. The older's loving aura had returned as he gave Youngjae a tight squeeze, breathing in relief when Youngjae held him back even tighter, heart breaking slightly when the boy let out a stuttered sob. Not wanting to break the embrace, Mark reluctantly let go, telling Youngjae to stay right there, telling him that he would be right back to hold him for as long as the hurt boy needed.

Youngjae moved away from Mark's lap, curling into himself, eyes following Mark's every move as the oldest dashed to their leader, the strange black halo encircling him once again.

"Jaebum," Mark asserted sternly, hand snapping out to grab at the other's punching arms. "You will stop right now."

"He deserves to die hyung."

Mark shook his head. "He does. But you don't deserve to have your life tainted by his death. Do you understand?" The older slowly pulled at Jaebum, leading him off of Kwon and onto his feet.

"We can't just let him go," Jaebum hissed, wild eyes searching for answers within Mark's.

Sighing, the brunette brought Jaebum towards the others, throwing one last glance at the disfigured, bloody mess that was Kwon.

"With some cover up, Kwon should be thrown in his rightful place in jail," Jinyoung reassured the duo. Jaebum frowned, about to retort when Bambam spoke.

"He'd rot in jail. They're not all friendly to everyone there. Especially with his type."

Blood simmering down to a regular temperature, Jaebum groaned in defeat, powerful stance falling to that of a tired man. The others smiled slightly, thankful that the other had left his angry state.

"C'mon," Mark smiled, cute charisma back. "Youngjae's waiting for us."

At the name itself, all five of them quirked up, lost energy bubbling up again, eyes bright.

"Youngjae hyung!" Yugyeom exclaimed, turning to sprint to the smaller boy, only freezing in spot.

The six boys stared at the empty space in horror.

Jackson threw a worried look back at the fallen Kwon, confused more than ever when he noticed that the man hadn't moved at all.

Anxiety took over the two oldest hyungs, each looking everywhere frantically.

Jackson broke down, holding his head in panic, chanting his denial of the situation over and over again. Bambam held onto Jackson, for his own and Jackson's stability.

Upon noticing the state of his hyungs, Yugyeom ran around the facility, screaming Youngjae's name over and over, tears beginning to overtake him when he was answered with nothing but silence.

Nothing.

There was nothing.


	21. fin

Feet lined up against the edge, nothing looming over, both feet were still fully on the surface that stood above the water.

Breaths shallow and heavy, the smallest bead of sweat was trickling down his forehead.

The large, bright full moon in the sky, that was illuminating the sky, was over shining the small, twinkling stars in the sky.

Ripples faded into the large cavern below, his reflection barely maintaining its shape in the water.

The wind whistled lowly, bringing in the cool mist of the river, brushing past the boy with no second thought.

Youngjae stared right ahead of himself at nothing but the stretch of emptiness that extended as the water fed into the larger stream, losing its identity in the sharp and relentless flow.

The broken boy felt a tug towards the stream, body leaning slightly forward, only to swing right back.

Everything that had happened was all because of him.

He was the source of all the problems. At least, that's he thought about himself.

Without him, GOT would've been better off, probably making it farther in their career, without the burden of Youngjae on their backs.

Without him, the guardians wouldn't had to worry about him, probably being able to live their lives up in the golden clouds without his presence bringing them down.

But what was done was done. Youngjae existed, inflicting nothing but hardships on the others.

Youngjae sighed sadly, shoulders slumping in his disappointment. Staring at the distorted figure in the water, he apologized at the strange reflection staring right back at him, for failing him again.

The ripples washed past his picture painted in the water as his thoughts flushed him out, bringing him down even lower than he was before.

There he was.

Alone.

With no one to stop him.

And Youngjae thought.

He thought that GOT would be better off without him, their success being held back by his useless self.

And then he remembered.

He remembered the time when they all had wanted to be human, each individual guardian having their own personal purpose.

They all had fallen in love with a certain thing that was, frankly, reflective of themselves.

Mark had martial arts and the feeling of being weightless to live for. He was in love with doing the impossible.

Jackson had the feeling of making others happy to live for. He was in love with making others smile.

Jaebum had In Hyung. He was in love, period.

Youngjae had had music. But that worked so well, didn't it?

Scoffing, Youngjae bent down, sitting down on the ledge, eyes casted down directly at the water.

No soul dared to venture onto the bridge at such a late time. The silence was almost comforting to Youngjae.

Sighing and breathing in the cool air, the boy stared at the faint stars in the sky, swinging his legs back and forth.

He wasn't sure what he was waiting for, the threat of being found ever so slowly creeping up at his door.

He couldn't care less.

As the world around him seemed to still, all life having halted, placed on pause, Youngjae knew.

"Jinyoung hyung, Bammie, Gyeommie," He whispered, words rich with appreciation and love. "Thank you. Thank you for everything. I'm sorry for holding you back."

It wasn't easy.

Youngjae closed his eyes, face scrunching as he gulped down the strange lump in his throat.

"Mark hyung. I hope you'll fly high. You're—" Youngjae paused, heart swelling up. "You're really amazing, thank you. I love you hyung."

"Jackson hyung," Youngjae choked on his words. "Where do I begin? I hope you're always happy. I hope you never stop smiling while you make others smile. I love you hyung. Thank you for always being there."

Small droplets rolled down his cheery red cheeks, the cold atmosphere swallowing the warm puffs Youngjae would breathe out.

"J-" Youngjae shook his head. "Jaebum hyung."

He had nothing to say.

There was frankly, just too much to say.

The feeling he had was indescribable and Youngjae bit back the small sobs threatening to erupt from his throat.

What was he going to say to Jaebum?

What could he say?

"Jaebum hyung," The black haired singer reached for his chain out of habit, fiddling around with it.

"I'm sorry."

Youngjae suddenly stopped himself, not knowing what to say further.

"Hyung, I love you."

Time raced quickly, and Youngjae inched forward slightly, slowly.

"I'm sorry. Please forget about me when I'm gone."

Whoosh, the wind suddenly let out a sorrowful whistle.

"I love you hyung," He let out under his breath, the tears now flowing freely down his cheeks, but Youngjae wasn't crying, just grieving.

Suddenly his charm lifted into the air, shining brightly. The golden magic stretching from the lace began to wrap around Youngjae, coating him in the shimmering golden light.

The date was January 14th.

The time was 1:31 am.

And Youngjae jumped.

And if he had heard the slightest call of him name, the wind guardian wouldn't have known as the breeze buttressed his fall, as if it was protecting him one last time. Youngjae leaned back into the drop, eyes shutting peacefully, the freeze of the water taking over him but not hurting him as he carefully and daintily submerged into the water, the gold even brighter than before.

Moments later, the gorge flared up in the golden shining, spreading everywhere, the light leaving as quickly as it came.

In the corner of the bridge where the young victim had once broken down, drunk, his tears having summoned his hyungs to life, a frail, tiny lily bloomed, peaking out shyly from behind the tall, monstrous looking weeds and grass.

The curtain of silence that shadowed over the world at the moment signified it all.

At the foot of the bay where the water met land and the city, near the baby lily, faintly, something glinted in the moonlight.

This was it.

This was the end of the line.

Youngjae was truly gone.

Soon to be buried deep within the sand, the small guardian charm with the curves representing wind sat on the bed, waiting.

 

 

  
Waiting for something.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A soul lost forever.

 

 

 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is a SEQUEL
> 
> it'll posted soon 
> 
> it's called "rewind"
> 
> and thank you for all the love


End file.
